


Love me Hate Me

by sinsquad



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bears, Blood, Blowjobs, Bro and D, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Death, Drinking, Feels, Fluff, Funeral, Its Guardiancest, M/M, Sea Of Love, Sex, Smut, aghhh, alot of sadstuck, also there is some sing song, and get onder eachothers skin, and then we may at one point switch pov to dave and john, but they will argue quite a bit, cute stuff shall happen eventually too, dont hate me, idk what to do here, idk~, im sorry guys, pls, some sadstuck i guess, some stridercest, super super gay, they wont alllwayyys hate eachother, this is my first fic, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:58:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 20,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4340354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinsquad/pseuds/sinsquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You hated him.<br/>You hated him more than anything.<br/>The smug look on his face whenever he came up with one of his little quips,<br/>The way his thick Texan accent slipped out every once in a while.<br/>His stupid fucking anime shades and how his blonde hair was spiked back-<br/>It was like he was trying to ironically look like Goku.<br/>It made you sick.<br/>So sick that when the teacher said you two were to be partners on the latest project you wanted to vomit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. class assignment

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! So this is my first time writing a fanfic!! Or anything and posting it!!! Uh- Tell me what you think??? Also my tumblr's are bowchickawow_whoa and Threeyearships so if you want to follow me on there that would be SWEET. And uh-yeah!! Im going to try and update this basically every day a bit? I work mon-wed and thats the only time I really get online so you can look forward to that I suppose!!!

You hated him.  
You hated him more than anything.  
The smug look on his face whenever he came up with one of his little quips,  
The way his thick Texan accent slipped out every once in a while.  
His stupid fucking anime shades and how his blonde hair was spiked back-  
It was like he was trying to ironically look like Goku.  
It made you sick.  
So sick that when the substitute teacher said you two were to be partners on the latest project you wanted to vomit.

He grabbed his bag and stood, walking over and plopping down in the seat beside you.  
“English~.” You clenched and unclenched your jaw. He sounded so smug; he knew how much you hated him. You just gritted your teeth and avoided looking at him.  
“Strider.” You glared at the sub with orange spray tan skin. He fumbled with the collar of his green shirt nervously, avoiding your hardened gaze as he spoke, practically hiding behind the list of names he held. You kept staring, your eyes like daggers, boring into him; doing everything in your power not to look over at dirk and the smirk that was definitely playing on his lips seeing you this pissed. Your naturally tan face probably looked more like a tomato than anything else at this point. Once the teacher stopped talking and the bell rang, you shot up out of your seat- eager to head out the door to lunch and away from him- but you could feel a strong grip on your forearm. You whirl around, ready to throw a punch and break those stupid shades but you stop short seeing a different blonde then you were expecting. “Jakeeyyy~ U wanna have lunch together?” The words were slurred and her breath smelled like alcohol. You let out a breath that you hadn’t even realized you were holding, relieved. “Roxy are you drunk again..? In school..?” She rolled her eyes and nodded, she laughed a bit; her grip on your arm becoming more of a sense of balance instead of a regular hold. You put your arm around her waist and her arm over your shoulder. “Come along now, we best get you lying down before you rustle your own jimmies too much and blow chunks.” You smiled a little and carried her down to the nurse’s office, looking back at the seat next to yours one last time before you go- only to snicker a little to yourself when you see its empty.

In the lunchroom, with Roxy in the nurse’s office; you were left to sit alone. Eating your sandwich, watching Netflix on your headset- Avatar playing, your favorite movie of all time- you were so zoned in you hadn’t even realized as the blonde made his way over and sat down. “Yo English,” you went ridged hearing his smooth deep voice next to you. You pause the movie and take off your headset- glaring at him. This seemed to amuse him because he smirked and cocked his head. “My house after school to work on this thing? Since I figure you don’t wanna drag this out.” You took in a sharp breath and looked away nodding, reaching back for your headset. “Sounds good.” His hand pushed the headset just out of reach, You growl and glower up at him, mentally burning a hole into his head. “Listen English. I hate this just as much as you; but let’s be fucking civil.” You snicker and roll your eyes, “Civil- huh? Why don’t you just bugger off if it bothers you so much- save us both the pain?” This seems to hit a nerve as you see his jaw flex- he grabs the collar of your shirt and pulls you forward. “Listen up you fucking dork. I’m not going to take your shit today- so shut the fuck up if you know what’s good for ya,” You laugh in his face and smirk. “Dork? That’s all you’ve got? Heh- you’re losing your edge Strider.” He just rolls his eyes and throws you back, turning away grumbling. You now have the smug look, watching him go.  
So a day at the Strider residence… This is going to either be the day you’ve dreamed of for years or an awful idea..


	2. Fisticuffs so to speak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk accidentally gets carried away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! This is probably my least favorite chapter!! :D Idk!!

After school, you followed him home silently watching as he walked. He was about 6’3 with broad shoulders and extremely toned muscles. He swayed his hips confidently as he walked. Ugh- He made you nauseous. His tight black jeans and his white shirt with the stupid hat on it. Who wears shirts with hats on them?? Asshole losers! That’s who! You were so lost reveling in your hatred that you didn’t realize when dirk stopped in front of a big house. You slammed into his back with a ‘oof’ and stepped back. He rocked in place and turned to you, a smug smile playing on his lips “Trying to cop a feel English?”

You could feel your face get hot as you grit your teeth. You couldn’t hold back anymore- all day you had been itching to do this- your hand swung up in a tight fist and slammed against his jaw. There was a loud crack- which you couldn’t tell was if it was his jaw or him slamming into the front door. His shades were knocked off and he turned away immediately- trying to grab them again from the floor, you kicked them away and pressed your heel to his wrist, kneeling down at his side. “Now listen here you cocky catawampus. You know fairly well I’m not here for my own pleasure. Let’s get this done with already.”

You move your heel from his wrist thinking that you’re down with it and then yelp as you feel his hand grip your ankle and pull you to the ground. Your head slams to the floor and pain sears through your skull. He’s looming over you and for the first time you see his eyes- bright amber- practically like a highlighter. You gasp but before you can say anything he covers your mouth with his hand.

“Shut up English. I don’t need you pointing out I’m a freak. I already know.” He lets go.

You scowl up at him but say nothing other than a mutter of ‘get off..’ Looking away now. He climbs off of you and goes into the living room. You sit up and watch him go, standing and dusting yourself off snickering. Perhaps you two could end up getting a nice good ol’ round of fisticuffs going and you would get to finally beat the stuffings out of him like you had always dreamed of. 

“So what do you propose we do for this dadblasted project anywho- since you were the one who said we should work on it?” 

Dirk stood in the kitchen, getting himself an orange soda and shrugging. “Figured we could brainstorm on it.” You groan in annoyance and sit on the couch as he makes his way over and sits close beside you. Too close. You scoot away a bit and grimace, he just sighs. “Damn English, at least I’m trying to pretend to make this work..”

You just roll your eyes and turn away. “If you haven’t any other reason for me to be here besides wasting my time and repulsing me I do believe I’ll be on my-”

He clamped his hand over your mouth. “No English- we’re going to fucking do this. I want to get it done. And-” He screamed out in pain as you bit down on his finger. He pushed you away and you yelped in pain as your head slammed against the small table next to the couch. He almost seemed to growl as he threw a punch to your jaw- searing, white hot flash shooting up your face only to burn even more where the table had hit you. As he loomed over you ready to throw another punch you grit your teeth and kick his stomach- making sure he fell to the ground off the couch. 

You quickly stand and run to the door, just wanting to go home- forget this happened- wash the blood off your face that you hadn’t even noticed until now. Your lip was split open and a thin trail of red from your nose. When had he hit your nose? It didn’t matter; you make your way quickly your hand just barely brushing over the door handle before you begin to get pulled back- Dirk’s fingers entangled in your hair pulling you to the floor and then dragging you up the stairs. You flail and kick and scream curses at him, he just grumbles ignoring you before you finally can get a hold on one of the staircase rungs to support the hand rail. He huffs and kicks your arm- you hear a loud snap and yelp out, crying and whimpering at this point.

“Dirk- Dirk please no- please please no.. nonono… I- please..” Your eyes sting with tears and he stops, staring down at you. His eyes widened- realizing you were seriously in pain and he let go right away, your head thunking against the top step- adding to the pain of your arm which was bent at an awkward and abnormal angle- obviously broken. 

Dirk kneeled beside you, “Shitshitshitfuck.. Jake- Jake are you okay? Listen- Let’s get you to the hospital, come on; please- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry shit-fuck. I didn’t think-”

You couldn’t even attempt to form words- all his words and apologies just sounding like white noise- the only thing you could feel was the heat shooting up your arm and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. He scooped you up and carried you down the steps supporting your arm and running out the door, setting you down on his motorcycle and then groaning in annoyance as you were too focused on the pain to be able to balance on the bike. “shitshitshitshit.” He picked you up again and carried you over to the car. “Don’t move,” He said quickly as he ran inside and got the keys to the shitty mom car that was in the lot- looking as though it hadn’t been driven for a millenia. When he came back he got you in and quickly followed- shoving his keys in the ignition and driving off.


	3. Rumors and shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lets try this the second time around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry a lot of my chapters are going to be rather short at times :/  
> also i misspelled a lot of stuff as Roxy intentionally. I can spell!

~Narrator's POV~

 

“So- How did this happen?”  
“He- fell down a flight of stairs. At my house.”  
“okay… and.. how do you explain your bruises..?”  
“....uh.. I fell with him..?”  
The nurse sighed and rolled her eyes, pressing the clipboard to her chest.   
“And care to explain what happened one more time..?”  
Dirk sighed, “We were foolin’ around and I lost my footing! He was right behind me and I fell back onto him. Down we went.” He glared in annoyance at her and she waved her hand dismissively.   
“Yes yes well, they need to put a cast on him so- we will call his parents and-”  
“Uh- he, he has no parents.” Dirk rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, and the woman’s eyes jerked up to his shades. “O-oh..” she mumbled, obviously having been caught off guard. Dirk just shook his head. “I’ll take him home. Its fine.” It is my fault anyway.. 

Jake’s POV~

Once you walked out and you saw dirk you couldn’t stop the groan that surfaced along with the eye roll. He looked up at you and looked actually.. releived. What was that about..? You clenched your jaw and went to him, not making eye contact.   
Why would he be relieved seeing me..? This is all his fault to begin with! And plus I mean it was just a broken arm.. I swear- he’s dumber than a sack of penny candy!  
“Yo.”  
“Strider.”  
“English.”  
“What the bloody hell are you doing here..?”  
“What the fuck do you think? Im taking you home asshole. You can’t fucking drive with a snapped bone.”   
You scoff and roll your eyes. “And who’s fault is that?”   
His eyes widened a little and then he looked away, grumbling. “Let’s just get out of here..”  
And with that he pushed you out the door. 

 

That next day in school everyone could guess what had went down considering everyone knew how much you and dirk loathed one another. And you were known for getting into fights often so it wasn’t anything new- the only thing that was really a change of pace was the bright green cast that was on your arm. That was the only reason everyone stared, because everyone could see your bruises- and half of Dirk’s were covered by his dumb ass shades- so as you walked through the halls you could hear all the whispers and murmurs.   
“Jake lost..”  
“Dirk kicked his ass..”  
“Damn..”

The day went by in a blur. It took most of your effort to just block everyone out. In fact- you hadn’t zoned back in until Roxy was suddenly in front of you.  
“So Jake~ I herd u got ur booty beat by Dirky~”  
You look up and roll your eyes, “oh come off it now Roxy, I don’t want to talk about it..”  
She pouted and poked your cheek, causing you to huff in annoyance and look at her again.  
“He downright kicked my ass, what else would you like me to say roxy?”  
She shrugged,  
“Did u 2 have sum sloopy makeouts~ *sloppy *yikes”  
You’re eyes widened, staring at her unable to believe your ears. “What in god's name makes you think i would have ‘sloppy makeouts’ with a cockamammie goof off like him? Bloody wanker almost killed me!” You could feel your face growing hot and red, and you could see on her face that she noticed. A grin began to slip across her lips and her eyes narrowed.   
“U 2 r totally gonna bang. I'm calling it. N appeariantly Im not the only one~”  
She glanced across the room lazily at a girl with a little blue hat and long green jacket. She was clinging to the neck of another student; tall, muscular, and extremely sweaty… You cringe looking back at roxy. “I do hope you mean the little girl and not the tall fellow.” She snorted a laugh and nodded. “She ships u guys so hard. I caught her writing smutty fanfic.” She smirked, her eyes narrowing. “Maybe I can get her 2 hand 1 over n let u read it~” You cringe as your stomach turns. Just thinking about if, your stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. She just winked, “I’ll c u later jakey~” And with that, she left you to your thoughts of Dirk strider and his smug ass face. 

After school walking home, avoiding the glances you get at random students; you watch your feet, walking quickly to get home as fast as you can not even realizing what was going on until you slammed into the muscular back in front of you. You fall back and the person turns to face you, then you hear it- the snicker and deep voice- so smug and arrogant. “Damn English, you really that eager to get at me again?” You glare up at him, your face red a tomato. “S-Shut up Strider! I- I was lost in thought!” He rolled his eyes and offers a hand up “Yeah sure.” You seethe in rage and swat his hand away, getting up on your own and dusting yourself off. “One question English, why the shorts?” You can feel your face heating up as you tug at them a little, since after falling they had hitched up- was.. was dirk looking at your thighs…? No no, no way- You clear your throat to call his attention back.  
“I happen to like them and it’s none of your concern.” He smirked, biting his lip.   
“Right. Well. Maybe tomorrow your place to work on shit since you wrecked mine?” You just roll your eyes and sigh, knowing you can’t avoid it.   
“Fine. My place tomorrow. Good day Strider.” You walk past him with a huff and he clicks his tongue.  
“See ya English.”


	4. what even is a chapter title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> late night texts and poor excuses on jake's part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c'mon jake. You and i both know that whole bit out them framing you for murder is malarky. Perhaps you just DONT WANT DIRK TO DIE. Or- maybe you're an idiot. could go either way. Im not quite sure how to get the text to show up like the persterchums usually do- color and all that but- just pretend it worked pls.

\-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 19:47 --

TT: Hey.

GT: ..Who is this, might i ask..?

TT: Guess.

GT: Um, i honestly haven’t the slightest clue! Could this possibly be john doing one of his notorious pranks?

TT: Shit, so close English; but no.

GT: Oh no. No no no… strider..?

TT: Bingo. Took you long enough.

GT: How the hell did you get my chumhandle..?

TT: John. Dave convinced him to spill for me. I need your address for tomorrow.

GT: Bloody hell, fine. You know the lake at the edge of town?

TT: Yeah.

GT: Well.. I live in the woods near there. I’ll meet you by the lake. 

TT: You know, I could make my way there fine on my own. I’m a big boy English.

GT: Oh for friggs flipping sakes. There’s some wild animals in these woods. Last thing i need is you dying going to my house and everyone thinks i did it.

TT: Whoa. Thats some crazy CSI shit man… 

TT: fair enough.

GT: What time will you be coming?

TT: What time do you want me is the better question.

GT: ...You know the answer to that question fairly well strider. 

TT: Yeah yeah okay, you rather I don’t show right? Well I want to get this over with so I’ll be there early probably. Say- 12?

GT: Tsk. Thats your version of early? Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.

TT: What you want me to come earlier?

TT: Fine, I’ll be there at 9. Happy?

GT: No! Dont you dare! I wont show up! I swear dirk.

TT: Mhmm, cya bright and early Jakey.

\--timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [TT] --

“Fucking hell.”

\--golgothasTerror [TT] disconnected--


	5. Jake English ==> Passive aggressively swoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> doki doki artichokie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again so so sorry these are all so short and for any mistakes I didnt get to proof read most of this

~Narrator's POV~

The next morning, Jake couldn’t sleep. He woke up bright and early, at about 8 and his first thought was of dirk- standing there waiting; then being the stupid piece of trash he is trying to find jakes house in the woods. And the end result is him dead and jake in jail. Or just him in general missing and lost… He rolled over with a groan and sat up, Best go just to be sure..

Fresh out the shower and dressed, he rushes out, barely having dried himself off in fear of being late. His white t-shirt clings to his skin and is slightly see through due to the water as he runs out the door. He had forgotten to put on his green button down on top as he ran quickly to the spot they had agreed upon and sure enough, Dirk was there; leaning against a dock post, his hands in his pocket as he sat back lazily looking out at the water. The water behind him looked beautiful and as he turned to face you slowly- realizing your presence- it was like a dramatic romance movie. Jake stared dumbfounded, how long had he been waiting? Did dirk always have freckles..? He looked so calm and.. attractive..How could jake have- 

“Yo took you long enough. Almost thought you were gonna hold your word.”

-Forgotten how utterly infuriating he is? Jake went to him and rolled his eyes. “I suppose I figured that if I didn't show up you would have tried to mosey your way through the wood yourself to find your way.” Dirk laughed, “You’re probably right.” His voice sounded deeper than normal, he obviously was still sleepy and not used to being awake so early on a weekend, his hair wasn’t as spikey as usual; hell he almost looked nice. Jake was so lost in thought staring at him that Dirk had to clear his throat to get his attention back. You shook your head to rid the thoughts and turned away. “Follow me,” he mumble; going into the woods, every once in a while glancing back at the blonde. Each glance jake stole dirk had noticed, until at some point he smirked; unable to help himself. “Like what you see English?”

He could see Jake go ridged, his shoulders squaring up and his jaw clenching. He lolled his head and turned on his heel to face dirk- dirk barely stopping before bumping into him. “Listen here Strider. Im not here to have you make little jabs at me.” With each word he poked dirks chest roughly with his good hand, causing him to take a step back with each jab until he was pinned against a tree- and for the first time, Dirk actually felt scared. Jake was pissed, and as Dirk opened his mouth to respond, Jake cut him off. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me? The humiliation- all the whispers and looks, Do you have any idea how difficult it is to do things now? I hate you.” 

Dirk looked over him, a frown on his face; Jake really seemed to mean it. “...Am I really that bad..?” Fuck. Dirk hadn’t meant to let that slip out, he didn’t want to show that he actually cared; but the words came out with a mumble and they seemed to throw Jake off.

He stepped back, wide eyed looking over him, then looking away. “L- Lets just keep moving..” Jake kept his eye on Dirk, and they both were silent the rest of the way. 

Back at jake’s house, even though Jake wasn’t the fondest of Dirk he was still a gentleman all the same. “Would you like anything to eat, drink, so on,” He asked as he went into the kitchen.

Dirk shrugged, “If you have some oj that’d be cool.” Jake nodded, opening the fridge and taking out the container, pouring him a glass, and then sliding it over the counter to him. Dirk caught it and drank as Jake spoke. 

“So what exactly is the point of this confounded project anyway?”

Dirk set down the glass and shrugged again, “I dunno, some teamwork shit. And we should probably add something to do with fish- Ms. Pixes digs fish. You ever notice she uses a fuck ton of fish puns in each of her lectures and writing?”

Jake snorted out a laugh and nodded, “At first I thought they were typos, then I read the footnotes. Who the bloody hell puts hashtags in footnotes?”

Dirk sighed, finishing his drink and standing, making his way to the living room. “We do, starting now. We’re gonna get some sweet ass brownie points.” Jake followed suit and they both flopped back onto the couch, figuring out what to do projectwise and actually being civil for once.


	6. Kiss Kiss fall in love!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk's got a bit of an inner monologue going

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part with the anglerfish is inspired by an episode of Hannah Montana that featured the jonas brothers and I regret nothing

~Dirk’s POV~

 

Jake English. Jake fucking English. You never really understood why he hated you. Well- you did actually. There was a lot to hate. But not to the degree he did. Why do you hate him? You dont. You never really did. It was sorta irritating how much he hated you, that pissed you off sort of, but more than anything it was that you were humoring him. That whole thing that happened at your house was awful. You got carried away, and ended up really hurting him. He got a few swings in, but you broke his fucking arm. If there was any hope of him getting to like you, now it was nonexistent. Hell- I would hate me if I were him. The fact that he actually let you come over after all that was shocking to say the least. But here you were, sitting on his couch, next to that british nerd, pretending you weren’t swooning hardcore and instead focusing on fish puns.

“Okay what about this, ‘The anglerfish especially is off the hook, they have a-’ “

Jake cut you off excitedly. “Oh! What if when you read that you hooked your finger like so-” He wrapped his arm around his head and hooked his finger in his mouth, his buck teeth showing as he grinned.

Fuckin’ doki doki man. You stare for a moment. “Perfect. And you can blind the class with those pearly whites of yours. I think that those are your humanized version of the angler’s little antenna shit. You draw people in and then-” kiss the fuck outta them. You shake your head and look away, He already has moved his hand back to his lap and looked away as well, his face red with embarrassment and grumbling under his breath. You sigh, “It’s a good idea, im just fuckin’ with ya English. Ms. P’ll get a kick outta it.”

He just nodded, looking away. Fuck. He glanced back up at you, thinking you wouldn’t notice, but a plus of wearing those shades he can never tell where you’re looking. “Strider..? May I see your eyes?”

You tense up a bit; you had forgotten he saw your eyes at your house. You turn away a bit but a hand grips your shoulder. “Oh you get to tease me about your teeth and I can’t even sneak gander at your eyes?” He scoffed.

God fucking dammit. You sigh and face him, sliding the shades off your face and closing your eyes. Holding your breath you finally open them, your bright amber irises meeting his bright green. His eyes scanned over yours and he opened his mouth to speak. “I- I was going to tease you as a bit of revenge.. but… they’re actually quite nice.”

And fuck your face could have melted right there with how hot it was. You were blushing wildly, and normally no one would be able to see it due to the large shades, but with them off you were exposed and jake could see just how flustered you were.

Abort mission: WEE WOO WEE WOO. Jake leaned in closer to you, closing his eyes. Abort mis- oh hell FULL SYSTEMS GO. HE’S GOIN’ FOR THE LIPS. You close your eyes and lean in, you can feel his lips barely brush against yours, his breath tickling your skin before he flicks your nose.You jump and lean back and there he is, sitting there with his arm crossed over his cast. “I knew it. You’ve got the hots for me don’t you Strider?”

WE’VE BEEN COMPROMISED. RETREAT. RETREAT. And with that you snatch up your shades, put them on your face and bolt up, making for the door, running out the house into the woods. Jake called out after you and probably chased you a bit, but like hell you were going to stop. You need to get the hell out of there asap because he pretended to kiss you and you almost fell for it and he’s probably going to get back at you some how with it and fuck. 

~Jake POV~

You almost kissed him. You almost kissed Dirk Strider. You wanted to kiss Dirk Strider. So why didn’t you? When you had leaned in and closed your eyes you were dying for it. You sneaked a peek at him for a moment and were so shocked to see, his eyes closed and leaning in to meet your lips- he wanted to kiss you too. You went through a moment of conflict between going through with it, and with teasing him. And well, then you remembered what Roxy had said, and that small girl with the blue hat that apparently ‘shipped’ you two. But when dirk hopped the couch and bolted to the door, well.. Then you regretted everything. You tried to chase after him, but he was awfully fast and once he got out the door and disappeared in the foliage of the woods, you looked horrified. Oh no.. Straight to action, you ran to your room, tugging on your gun holsters and double pistols, then bolting after him.


	7. rawr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BEARS. FUCKING GIANT ASS ALBINO BEARS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idfk its stupid. the whole thing is stupid

~Narrator's POV~

The woods by Jake’s home were closed off to the public for good reason, it was an anomaly actually. The woods had been the result of an accident years ago. And all the animals in the woods became more than slightly aggressive- along with developing achromia. There was good reason to be afraid. The whole thing jake had gone on about dirk dying out there was very reasonable, though the idea of people blaming him and all that was not. So as dirk ran out there, going straight ahead, he was from the moment he stepped out of that house, a target for all those living in the brush. Jake running out after him though, was known by all the beasts as a force to be reckoned with, and hence when they were going through to get to jake’s house earlier, let them go. He ran quickly, going straight after dirks footprints he left in the damp dirt, not realizing that a blur of white was following the both of them. 

~Dirk’s POV~

Jesus these woods go on forever..  
Why did he play me?  
Why did I think he would want to kiss me?  
How could I fall for it?  
He said he knew it.. Knew what? That I liked him?  
That I would go to kiss him back?  
God im so fucking stupid.   
I-  
Something seemed to dart past you, a white blur. You stop running and look around, confused. “...Jake?” You hear a noise and whirl around quickly, the white blur disappearing as you turn to face it. You look around a moment, sort of nervous and confused when you felt a hot breath on your neck. You freeze and slowly turn around to see what it was behind you. A horse. A beautiful horse..

You stared at it a moment and smile to yourself. Fuck yeah horses.. So fucking majestic. You reached your hand up, to run your fingers through the beautiful mane, but just before you could the horse was on the ground, laying on its side, the white hide dyed red with blood and frantic neighs accompanied by squeals of another animal that was on top of the mare, eating at its throat. You stagger back, horrified and being the dramatic bitch you are, you stumble and fall back- drawing the attention of the… bear? A white bear? It looked like a polar bear sort of except it was fucking huge and had red eyes. It reminded you of.. your brother. Albino bears.. or steroids? Because it was honestly record breakingly huge. You’re pretty much petrified. The one day you don’t have your katana with you is the day you need it. You’ve always been on point with this stuff- never even once really caught off guard, minus a few rare occasions with Jake; but you’re actually unprepared and this time it’s actually sorta important. The bear was too busy eating at the horse to care for you, so you slowly started to inch back to get the fuck out of there. But of course being the valedictorian you are you made a cinematic mistake of not watching where you stepped. And being the genius you are, instead of stepping on a twig that would no doubt snap loudly or instead tripping back and falling onto the floor; you did both. As you stumbled back you curse under your breath and watched wide eyed as the bear’s head snapped up- its red eyes looking square into your shaded ones. It growled loudly and stood on its hind legs, inching towards you. 

So this is how I die. 

Now- you’ve never been fond of loud noises. They freak you the hell out. So when you hear a loud bang from behind you and the bear suddenly jerked back you clench your jaw to hold back the startled scream that rises up in your throat. Another two loud bangs and he bear jerks back more, falling on all fours again, and then slumping down. You turn to look behind you and god dammit it’s Jake- wearing his short as fuck shorts and gun holsters that are at the moment empty because his double pistols are wielded in hand and he’s glaring down at you and if it wasn't for the fact he looked extremely pissed and.. worried..(?) He was looking hot as hell. He extends a hand and pulls you up on your feet. “ Are you alright..?” He huffs a bit- out of breath from running after you. You nod and brush the dirt off your jeans as though nothing just happened and you weren’t horrified. He smacks the back of your head, not hard enough to actually hurt you; but it does catch you off guard. “I told you not to go into the blasted woods alone!” He looks at you and you were right, he did look worried before- but now more so he looks.. relieved. He grabs your hand and tugs you along, grumbling under his breath. All you hear is ‘bloody imbecile.. going all along.. I swear.. Worried sick..’ You snicker when you hear the last bit and let him drag you into his house again. You were grateful he saved you but, you were still pretty damn pissed.


	8. Jake English ==> Swoon properly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sings finally by fergi*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lately I've had the song sea of love stuck in my head and usually i end up singing it and then finish with sobbing incoherently.

~Jake POV~

I swear to god, if you thought dirk was dimwitted before, now he was a god damn fool. You shouldn’t have teased him like you did before. That was wrong. But you told him repeatedly about not going into those woods! You made him sit in the couch and got him some water. Then sitting with him, not as close as you two had been before. Not that you didn’t want to sit near him- more so you figured that he rather you didnt. You wanted to rewind and pull through with the kiss. And you weren’t quite sure why. You hated him! Loathed him passionately! So why was it that as he drank the water your eyes fixated on his neck and watched his muscles flex- his adam’s apple rise and fall and felt as though that flawless pale skin would look so much better with small marks of red left along it.. Why was it that as he pulled the cup from his lips and placed it down- facing you- you focused on the slight pink and how soft they looked, the curve of his lower lip and his cupids bow. How perfectly his lips could meld against yours.. How they now were pressed into a tight line as he assumingly watched you through his shades. It brought you back from your thoughts.   
“Dirk- about earlier,”  
“Fuck you.”

 

Well. That went well. You sigh and resist the urge to roll your eyes. You figure that you should perhaps try being a bit nicer.   
“Listen I-” You freeze with the stoic stare he gives you. “I- I apologise for earlier.. that was extremely ‘uncool’ of me and-”  
“I don’t care English. Take me home. Or to the lake. Just away.”   
You actually give him a pained look but he doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. “Dirk listen-”  
“Home.”  
“I-”  
“Now.”  
“Can I-”  
“Nope.”  
You glare a bit and snap at him. “God dammit strider let me just speak!”  
He shuts up and you sigh, running your fingers through your hair in irritation. “Im sorry about teasing you! And I regret it immensely. I- well, I panicked. So I decided to retreat in a sense. And I didn’t actually think you would want to kiss me because you always hated me and-”  
“I never hated you jake.”  
You froze. He.. He didn’t hate you..? But- but he-  
“..What do you mean you never hated me! You always teased me! You broke my bloody arm!” You wave your cast to show what you mean, and he seemed to wince.   
“That was an accident. And remember you hit me first?”  
He.. he was right.. but- you only hated him because you thought he hated you! And he would always tease and pick fun!   
“T-Then why didn’t you..”  
He shrugged. He explained.  
You felt guilty.  
For all the times you had been so bitter and rude to him.  
“...Gee.. I’ve been quite the soresport haven’t I…”  
“Basically.”  
And then silence. It was so awkward. You had no reason to loath him anymore. No reason not to kiss him… You don’t want to go in for it quite yet though, you’re nervous! And you have every right to be! He leaned back and sighed, looking away. You wonder what he’s thinking. He pursed his lips and they were no longer in a thin line, more relaxed.  
“So..”  
“So..”  
More silence. Agh- you figure its now or never. You bite your lips nervously and look into his shaded eyes. “May I possibly give it another go..? K-Kissing you I mean..”  
He actually looked a bit surprised. He looked at you and nodded, “Go for it.”  
You lean in, closing your eyes and letting your lips finally press against his.


	9. Bow chicka wow wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and jakeyyy sittin' in a tree~ K-I-S-S-I-N-G-H-I-J-K-Lmao-P
> 
> ((just picture roxy singing that))

~Dirk’s POV~

Fuck. Holy Fuck. He’s kissing me. We’re kissing. Shit. His lips are really soft. His lips connect with yours gently, you can react to this in two different ways. You could be your usual stoic self, play it off; or you could kiss this fucker with the power of a thousand suns.

==> Do the second thing.

You kiss jake back like you wouldn’t believe. lacing your fingers through his dark brown hair that is also really fucking soft. You wince a bit when your teeth clack against his, he had a really bad overbite. If he ever happened to run into a dentist you’re pretty sure they would faint. But in your opinion they suited him. He was clumsy with the whole kissing thing, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your lips melded together perfectly in a sense- as you were both inexperienced. He deepened the kiss, his teeth grazed over your lip and you moan softly. Fuck. Fuck you didn’t mean to let that slip out. Please let him not react- his face reddens and he gives your hips a soft squeeze but he keeps kissing you and you run your tongue over his lip and he parts them eagerly, letting his tongue meet yours and holy fuck you cant breath this isn’t real, you’re in heaven. After a bit of sloppy makeouts it seems like jake can’t breath either because he breaks the kiss gasping for breath and panting softly looking into your eyes with his beautiful forest green and wow- wow this is. this is real. you just made out with jake fucking english. You play it cool, looking him over, his tan face flushed and- “Uh- I gotta go to the bathroom.” And with that you abscond the fuck out of there.

~Jake’s POV~

Not quite sure how long you two sat there mooning over one another- staring into each other’s eyes. Or well. You suppose that’s what you was doing. He was.. quite the kisser. You was right to want to kiss him. You still wanted to kiss him. The only reason you didn't was because your lungs were on fire and you felt your phone buzz in your back pocket- which you suppose actually is what snapped you back into it finally as it went off again. You jolt a bit and dig in your pocket to read over the blue text as dirk walked away to the bathroom. You had received more messages than you realized. 

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering gogolthasTerror [GT] at 12:26--

EB: jake!!

EB: oh youre still working with dirk arent you?

EB: you know i dont get why you two argue so much

EB: if you ask me its sort of stupid!

EB: anyway do you want to come over and hang out with me and dave?

EB: i got him to agree to a movie marathon!

EB: and also my dad went crazy with the baking again.. so im trying to get a few people over to get rid of the satans confections! 

EB: Jaaaaaaaakeeeeeeee

EB: :(

GT: Gah! So sorry mate, hello!

GT: I would love to come over but i actually am still with dirk.

GT: As for us hating each other, i dont believe that is an issue anymore..?

EB: whaaaaaaaat????????

EB: really??

GT: I believe so!

EB: thats great! i have to tell dave!

EB: ugh he just gave me a thumbs up.

EB: i dont get why he does the whole stoic thing

EB: its imposible to get a read on him!

GT: I know!! I cant stand it! I mean we just right well kissed and he just looks at me so empty!

EB: whoa.

EB: whoa!!

EB: you KISSED??

GT: Er.. yes..

EB: Ugh. i told dave and all he did was smirk. So annoying!

EB: come over anyway! and bring your new boyfriennnddddd with you!

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gogolthasTerror [GT] at 12:29--

 

And with that you sigh and flop back, closing your eyes to rest a bit because it was going to be a long night. Of that you were quite positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JohnDave?? Should there be john dave?? or should they just be friends? Idk!


	10. cakecakecakecakecakecakecake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more characters!!!
> 
> *blasts cake by rhianna*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Not johnDave YET. Next chapter I swear! I needed to prep for it with setting the scene at johns house. Next chapter shall have johndave, I swear! Also perhaps some JaneRoxy, Jade, RoseMary, and possibly more?? idk- what are your ships?? Also should this fic have some nsfw bits? Let me know!

~Nararator’s POV~

Before they even went inside Johns house, the smell of cake was wafting outside. Jake knocked on the door and after a bit roxy swung it open, squealing happily. “Jakeyyy~ Dirkadirk~~ Heyyyyy!” Jake looked a bit surprised seeing her, thinking it was just going to be john and dave. Dirk raised a brow and waved a bit. “Hey lalonde.” She giggled and pulled them both into a hug. “Come it! *whoops *in *lol.” She whispered in jake’s ear, “So you two are coming to the party together huhh? Something happen?” Jake couldn’t see her face in the double hug possition he was in at the moment, but he could tell from her voice there was a ludicrous amount of eyebrow wiggling going on. Jake stuttered, trying to spit out a response when a voice called out from inside the house. “Jake!!!” Roxy let go of Jake only to have the full bodyweight of a squealing mass of joy thrown onto him, knocking him onto the grass behind him. She was grinning and laughing hugging and rolling around with him in the dirt, he chuckled and followed suit, mindful of his casted arm. “Jade, I’ve missed you!” She grinned and pinned him down, her long black hair draped over the both of them. “And I win~” Jake just rolled his eyes, “Oh come now, thats not fair- I have a broken arm. And besides-” He shifted his weight and rolled over so he was pinning her down. “I do believe I still have quite the upperhand.” She struggled against his grip and huffed, glaring up at him when she couldn’t get free. “Fiiiine! Yield!” He grinned and sat up, rolling off of her. Meanwhile Dirk and Roxy watched the whole thing. “U no if i didn’t already no jakey was superrr gay i would think that they were a couple. minus the whole sibling thing.” Dirk nodded, agreeing. Though jade and Jake both were pretty rugged and outdoors-y. And very close. They both had a long running competition to see who would fair better, judging on strength, speed, agility, and firepower. Jade was good, but jake always was better. Jade made up for it though. She was much more calculated in her actions, while Jake seemed to wing it most of the time. Jake stood and helped jade up, pulling her into a hug. That’s when john finally made it to the door and saw them.  
“Hey guys! You’re here!!” John gave them a goofy grin and dirk looked him over. John looked so much like jake it was ridiculous. They were cousins, but looked more like brothers. Jake was of course, with the advantage of three years; taller than john by about half a head. And with the fact that Jake was the ‘adventurer’ he went out more and was therefore quite tan, while john was milky white and pink. Dirk took care to pretend not to notice the small pink marks that adorned john’s neck. He smirked but said nothing. And then there was their bodies. Jake was more angular and muscles with all the things he did, but john was more soft, his jaw was a soft curve that made its way to his neck; Jakes was more defined and sharp, and as he gave dirk s hug, dirk could feel that the rest of him was the same. Soft and huggable. “come in!” He took dirks hand and pulled him inside, Jake and jade following along with Roxy. John lead them into the kitchen, and lo and behold there were cakes in every place imaginable. “gadzooks.. uncle..” Jake mumbled, looking around.  
“I know right..? Dad went crazy.. “ He let out a soft sigh and swung his arms out. “Help yourself! Please.” He went out to the living room and Jake looked around, settling on a chocolate cake and talking a slice. Dirk looked around before trying out carrot cake. Jake was about to go join everyone when dirk held his arm, pulling him back. 

~Jake’s POV~

You whirl around to face him surprised, he’s leaning back on the countertop. narrowly missing a strawberry shortcake. He was looking assumingly right at you, his lips in that tight line like back in your house. “What is it Strider?” You were admittedly a bit nervous some reason, he didn't have any reason to be upset again.. did he..?  
“what are we?”  
You sort of froze a bit. “W-What..?”  
“You heard me English, what the fuck are we? We don't hate each other anymore. okay. but i mean we also made out. so what the hell are we? Dating? not dating? Fuck buddies? Before we go into that room with god knows how many people I need to know what the hell this is.”

He had a point.. What was this.. and wait- was he asking you out? Did that count as asking out?  
“Well.. I- I suppose we can be friends.. bros perhaps?”  
“Bros don't make out.”  
You cringe. God dammit he just had to be right didn't he..?  
“Well.. we can act as just friends for now.. and.. see how things go perhaps.. and-”  
“OMG GUYS LETS PLAY TRUTH OR DAER- *whoops *DARE.”

You groan. You know that this will lead to kissing. There's no way it wont. Not with Roxy. So much for ‘just friends’


	11. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get hot. bow chicka wow wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and stuff~ I love it!! And again I will be trying to update every monday tuesday and wednesday!  
> Also- A bunch of friends and I are doing an acting thing on youtube! We will be acting out fanfictions that we get the permissions of and posting them and it will be really cool and the first video we will be doing is an acted out version of the video 'Sea of Love' drawn by tumblr user: my-friend-the-frog
> 
> You guys should follow her! She is truely fantastic!!

~Dirk’s POV~ 

In the livingroom there were a shit ton of people, just like you had guessed. So you sat down on the floor, playing it cool besides Dave, whose fingers were intertwined with Johns. John’s head rest on dave’s shoulder and hell you’d be lying if you didn’t admit they made a pretty good couple. John was like the little shota boy you always thought you wanted. His bright electric blue eyes, windblown wispy black hair, goofy overbite, and his light milky skin were all sweet and perfect and could make even the strongest of kokoro’s go ‘doki doki.’ But more and more recently you’ve found yourself dreaming of forest green and flawless tanned skin and an ass that would put JLo and Iggy to shame. Terezi, another one of Dave’s friends is sitting in the circle also, cackling over some joke you hadn’t caught and next to her was Karkat, some stubby short angry kid that was always throwing a fit. He glanced at john next to him and sighed rolling his eyes and facing terezi who was staring in no particular place at all considering she was blind. Then there was Rose and Kanaya who were keeping PDA to a low with just their legs touching where they sat, then Roxy and Jane, some girl with a blue hat and huge jacket, Equius... and then Jade. Jake followed suit and despite your mental praying he sat beside you.  
God dammit way to draw even more attention English.  
When Jake plopped down beside you everyone’s eyes seemed to be glued to you two. Except dave because who the fuck knows where he’s looking behind his shades?  
“Okay guys! Let’s get this game going! I’ll go first!” Jade said quickly before anyone else could take their turn before her.  
“Ummm.. John! Truth or dare?”  
He lifted his head from Dave’s shoulder and bit his lip in thought. “Dare.”  
“I dare you to kiss dave!”  
John rolled his eyes and sighed, “You do this every time! We’re dating Jade!”  
Dave smirked and shrugged, “Hey man, little lady asked for a kiss. Who are we to deny her of a good show?”  
John rolled his eyes again and grinned, turning a bit to face dave and place a small kiss on his lips. Of course knowing dave he wasn’t having any of that shit and swooped john into his arms and kissed him passionately like in one of Karkat’s shitty ass rom-coms. John squeaked and melted into him, draping his arms around his neck. He looked like a princess. A little shota princess. Jade and Jake clapped and whooped, Jane giggled, and roxy did a wolf whistle, and a little ‘honhonhon’ while the girl in the blue hat squealed happily. When Dave finally broke the kiss the corners of his lips were turned up a bit in barely a smile while John was breathless and his face was red as hell. Tomatoes didn’t have a damn thing on this kid. John stayed sitting on dave’s lap for the rest of the game.  
Then it was john’s turn and as the game went on you could feel yourself relaxing, completely forgetting about the weird thing going on with Jake and having a damn good time. Karkat got dared to twerk to ‘Milkshakes,’ Dave saranaded John with some LeeAnn Rimes song that practically brought John to tears, Roxy got Jane to take a few shots, and everything was fucking dandy, until it was the girl in the blue hat’s turn.  
“Dirk~” She purred. “Truth or Dare~?”  
You pause to think it over and decide not to be a fucking bitch.  
“Dare.”  
Her eyes lit up and she grinned like the fucking cheshire cat I swear.  
“I dare mew two to kiss.” She motioned between you and jake.  
You freeze.  
“Uh-”  
Everyone watched you two closely, dave smirked and raised a brow.  
Prick. Fine.  
You turn and jake was in mid conversation with Jade, probably not even paying attention to the dare. You grab him by the collar of his shirt and tug him close- he looked wide eyed and surprised as you press your lips against his roughly. Jake eagerly presses back, tangling his fingers in your hair and tugging a bit. You growl into his lips and he nips at your lower lip, his tongue slipping in to run over yours. His mouth is hot and god so is he, this is probably one of the best damn days of your life but you aren’t exactly ready to show it so you push him away and glare at him, acting like it was nothing while he looks away- the tips of his ears are red and he adjusts his shirt with a huff, turning back to Jade. Everyone is gawking. Fuck. Terezi cackles.  
“We said to kiss not to play tonsil hockey,” Dave mumbles, “damn.”  
The girl with the blue hat is beaming. Shes fucking ecstatic. Jane is looking away, her face pink and she sort of looks.. sad? while roxy is wonking everywhere. Maybe kissing him that intensely wasn’t that good of an idea..

~Jake’s POV~

That kiss.  
That was..  
hot to say the least. When dirk pushed you away you almost whined but you just looked away instead, embarrassed. Dave’s comment made you feel worse. You clear your throat and mumble about going to the bathroom abscond the hell out of there so that everyone cant see how flustered you are. The girl.. nepeta? Was that her name? She was the one Roxy had pointed out that ‘shipped’ the two of you. Of course she would say for you two to kiss.. She looked overjoyed as you left. Instead of the bathroom you go into the kitchen, getting another slice of cake and leaning against the counter with a sigh. You don’t know how long you stay there, more so destroying the dessert on your plate instead of eating it before someone walks into the kitchen. Its Dirk.  
Of course.  
You glare up at him even though you dont very well have a reason to be mad. You dont know why you were angry. You just were.  
“Why would you kiss me like that! Couldn’t you be a bit more tactful??”  
He snickered. “Hey, you’re the one who’s tongue invaded my mouth.”  
You feel your face heating up. “You should have warned me!”  
“You should have been paying attention.”  
“You should have-”  
You couldn’t think of what to say after that. You were suddenly very aware of how close together the two of you were. When had you two moved at all? Suddenly he was right against you and you were pinned with your back against the counter and his breath was on your skin and god damn it he was so infuriating you just-  
You kiss him.  
You kiss him hard.  
You’re lips practically collide against his and its so hard your lips are sure to bruise but his hands are on your hips, digging into your skin and your fingers tug at his hair and god damn he tastes amazing and you just want to have him and your tongues are moving against each others, he bites your lip softly and you let out a soft groan, tasting the irony liquid on his lips from yours and it’s intoxicating. His hands slip down over your ass and he lifts you by your thighs, placing you onto the counter. Cake stains your shorts but you’re much too busy wrapping your legs around his waist to care. He’s gripping your ass, his hands also covered with cake and then moving over your skin, you pull him closer and grind softly against him. He groans into your lips and god there are people right in the next room but you cant breath and-  
wait.  
There are people in the next room.  
Your friends and cousins are in the next room.  
You pull away quickly, shoving him back. He steps away and licks a small bit of your blood from his lips along with cake from his fingers. He smirks. Of course.  
“You uh- got a little something there English.”  
You grit your teeth, your seething. His hands wandered more than you would have liked and he got cake all over you. Your face, hips, thighs, awfully close to a certain area, and your neck; all covered in frosting. Not to mention that you were still sitting in a mushed pile of what used to be funfetti cake. You drop your hand down and grab a handful, flinging it at him. It hits him square in the shades and you snort out a laugh as he tries to wipe it off, a frown on his face. The icing sticks to his shades perfectly and before he can get it off you sling another handful- hitting him in the exact same spot- but this time he had his shades off. He glares at you.  
“Oh. Its fucking on.”

He grabs and handful of the closest cake to him, and slings it- A chunk of Angelcake just missing your neck but he’s a lot faster than you give him credit for because he is right beside you, shoving a large amount of tres leches in your face. You gasp and grab some cheesecake, doing the same and actually grinning. You two are stuck in a draw like this when John comes in.

“Oh my god guys!”  
You two freeze. Looking over at the blue eyed practically a carbon copy version of you. And you drop your cake ammunition.


	12. Stridertalk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Dave talk and snarky innuendos and stuff go down. also, what is a fourth wall? Because im pretty sure whatever it is just shattered dramatically. Dave, who is going to pay for that wall damage? Because it sure as hell isnt me. And my insurance doesn't cover this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its sorta short >

~Dave’s POV~

I swear to fucking god, with the scolding that John gave Jake and Dirk; you had never heard John sound more like a mom in his life. Normally you would say he sounded like his dad, but his dad was nowhere near as tight as john was when he was mad. He probably would scold him and then bake ‘Im sorry i got all hard ass-ish on you Im proud of you son’ cake afterwards. But john was pissed. Jake and Dirk were acting insanely weird though in John’s defense, and we both knew why. They both had been putting on this hate act for so damn long that they were oblivious to the fact they both had raging boners for one another. And now that they realized it was like- all or nothing. Pent up sexy times in their brains I guess. Whatever. You go over and wrap your arms around john giving him a kiss on the neck. “Chill it man. Not like anyone was gonna eat the damn stuff anyway.” He sighed and relaxed into your arms, hanging his head. “I know.. but now i have to clean it up! And its all over them!” Jake looked himself over and winced, realizing john was right. Dirk frowned and only I could tell that meant he was doing the same. “Yo you two, go clean the hell up.” Jake nods and slowly trails out, Dirk following suit before you nudge him, giving him a look that you hope he can interpret as ‘not you.’ He seems to get the idea and moves back to lean against the door. You mumble into johns ear, your lips brushing over his skin, causing him to shudder. “Lemme talk to my bro for a bit,” you drawl, letting your texan accent slip out because you know it makes john get all john-ish. He takes in a sharp breath and nods. You slip your hands off him and he catches one to give a soft squeeze before leaving the room. 

“So what the hell was that?” You lean back against the fridge, crossing your arms. Dirk shrugs.  
“Cake fight.”  
“Bullshit.”  
“Maybe our tongues played a game or two of patty cake.”  
You snicker. “Knew it.”  
He smirks,   
You roll your eyes. “Right now out of ten you’re at a completely obvious 26 when you’re trying to be at 0. Wanna be appropriate in front of his family? I’d say acceptable limit is a 6 man.”  
He assumingly rolls his eyes, “And what are you and John at?”   
The corners of your lips turn up a bit, “We’re a sexy ass 8.7 and doing you all a god damn favor. What kind of hostesses would we be if we didn’t put on a damn show?”  
Jesus there was alot of smirking and eye rolling here. Maybe one of you guys should keep count. Assuming my life is like the office or some shit and theres millions of people watching me. Who the fuck knows? If there are there, the answer is me. I fucking know.  
…  
Sup.

Dirk sighed, and you tap your toe, waiting. “so..? I need details man. C’mon, you promised when you texted me earlier. Dirk groaned. “Fuckin’- fine. okay. He-”  
“From the beginning.”  
“Fuck.”

~timeskip~

“Well fuck me sideways and call me sally, man. Sounds to me like you and him are set up to have some hot ass hatesex.”  
He of course- fucking smirks. “Well sally, i guess youre right.And i’d be lyin’ if i said i wasn’t more than slightly lookin’ forward to it.”  
“Use protection.”  
He snickered. “Im gonna use the damn shower to get this frosting off’a me.”  
Innuendo time. “Why dont you just lick it off? Most of it’s white- should make you feel at home.”  
“Maybe because I plan on getting a mouthful when I get out of here.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and you call after him as he strides out, “Good luck man.”


	13. Nighty night! Dont let the lesbians and rainbow drinkers bite.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone heads out, 'cept dave and jade. Rose and Kanaya are nosey and prying.  
> I guess i hadnt thought about it. but i suppose this is a humanstuck. Yeah!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two short updates in one day??? Whaaaaattt?????
> 
> I guess i hadnt thought about it. but i suppose this is a humanstuck. Yeah!!  
> Also- Ive already started with a new story!! Its going to have smut. So be warned.. Its JakeDave- Which is nice I suppose. I dont ship it very strongly- but it is a song inspired fic and I couldnt do it with anyone else but those two I feel like. Anyway- Ill tell you this- the song that its based off of is All The Stars In Texas by Ludo  
> So maybe look up the song?? And then once I post it- read the fic??? Its not going to be too long. Def shorter than this one. Anyway- Please leave comments!! I live for comments!!

~John’s POV~

Ever since Jake told you that you he and Dirk had kissed he was acting really weird. I mean, I guess you could understand.. I mean they had hated each other for pretty much ever.. but I mean! It had only been a day right?? Since they realized?? You and dave had been dating for about a month until you two finally kissed on the same level Jake and Dirk did!!! To be fair.. you hadn’t exactly known you liked boys at all for a long time before then.. so with every little step you two had taken you took it slow.. Dave was such a good boyfriend.. waiting for you like that.. You sigh as you get towels and stuff for jake to clean up. He was covered in cake.. What the hell was that about?? When Jake told you about dirk you figured ‘oh! they dont hate each other anymore! Maybe they’ll start dating!!’ and that kiss made you think it even more! But when you saw the two of them, smashing cake into each others faces..? I mean.. It still looked like they hated each other.. You were confused. Really confused.  
You were so lost in thought, you hadn’t realized when jake was mumbling apologies to you.  
“Oh.. its fine jake.. just clean up, okay?”  
He nodded and slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. You huff and head back downstairs, going into the livingroom. Nepeta was sleeping, curled up in Equius’ arms, Roxy was slumped over jane, Jade was curled up on the floor, and rose and kanaya were awake as ever. 

 

“Please e%cuse me, but i will be taking Nepeta home.”  
You look up at the big sweaty sports star from your school and nod, “Okay! have a safe trip home!”  
He nods and walks out, his place in front of you only to be refilled with Roxy being supported by Jane.  
“Hey john! Sorry but I think I may need to head out to take roxy home. Tonight was fun though!! We should all hang out again soon!”  
Roxy hiccups and grins, stumbling forward and draping her arms around you. You squeak but return the hug, patting her back.  
“Bye johnnyyyy~ You tell Drink that that was a super hot kiss! Er- *Dirk *whoops *lmfaoo that happens evvry time!”  
You chuckle semi awkwardly, nod, and stand her up again, Jane draping Roxy’s arm around her shoulder and becoming her source of balance.  
“Bye guys!” You call after them as they stumble out the door also, Rose and Kanaya stand up and Rose looks at you, a hint of mischief in her eyes.  
“So john,” she starts, crossing her legs and a small smile playing on her lips. “Any information for me about what happened back there with the game?”  
You feel yourself getting nervous and force out a small laugh, “I-I dont know what you mean! What happened??” Hey look! Oh wow! Look at that floor! That is a nice floor. Lets look at that. yeah. You can feel her eyes focused on you, you’re trying not to give anything away. I mean, Jake and Dirk never said it was a secret…. but it probably wouldn’t be good for you to spread anything anyway!  
“John, you should know that rose and I would never do anything to meddle in whatever it is that is going on.” Kanaya’s smooth and refined voice prods at you- you realllllyyyy want to tell.. You’ve never been good at keeping secrets..  
“Im here if you want to tell me john. Anything at anytime”  
“We both are.”  
“John.” 

You hear a familiar deep voice behind you and sigh with relief, turning around and grinning at the reflection of your face on your boyfriend’s shades.  
“Dirk is in the shower now too, told em they can let themselves out if you wanna come to bed.”  
You nod, thanking god he came when he did- you almost gave in!!  
“In that case I do suppose Rose and I shall be on our way as well,” Kanaya stated.  
You said your goodbyes and wave to them from the door.  
You let jade sleep where she is, feeling guilty that she was on the floor, but you knew you would never be able to pick her up. You head up to bed and you’re so glad that dave is there sleeping over with you. His arms are wrapped around your waist and his face buried into the back of your neck. You sigh happily, you hate to be alone at night- and it was all the better considering.  
Tonight there was going to be a thunder storm.


	14. Strider's house (reprise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake stays the night at dirks house~ Oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I didnt post yesterday!! I called in sick to work! D: 
> 
> Im better today though!! and wow!!! 452 reads!!! Ahh!! Thank you!! I love you guys so much!! Also my people who surscribed to me and bookmark and kudos and just readers pleaseeeee please leave comments and give feedback and stuff!! Any requests on other ships?? What do y'all wanna see?? Did i do okay with the davejohn?? Let me know!!

~Jake POV~

The house was pretty quiet when you had gotten all cleaned up, your hair was wet and your clothes were clinging to your skin pretty badly. You wander around and see that dave and john are already fast asleep and snuggled up against each other in johns room. You quietly sneak downstairs and almost stumble over your cousin who was curled up on the floor smiling happily in her dreams. You chuckle and scoop her up, placing her on the couch, and then start making your way to walk yourself out to your car when you bump into something tall, and slightly damp. You stumble back and fall to the floor, Dirk is looking down at you.  
“Hey- uh. can you give me a ride home? Since you were my ride here?”  
You stand up and brush yourself off with a nod, it was only fair after all.

The two of you head outside to your classic green little 1949 plymouth woody. It was a cute classic!! And you loved it dearly! As you two got in, dirk chuckled.  
“Y’no, you could use an upgrade car wise.”  
“Strider! Ill have you know this is an antique and I happen to be very fond of it! Thank you very much!!”  
He puts up his hand in mock defense, “whoa whoa whatever you say english. Lets just get me home okay? Its gonna rain ‘n shit.”  
You tense a bit and nod, quickly pulling out the driveway and driving down the road, determined to get home before  
Crack-  
“cheese and fucking crackers-!”  
You nearly bump your head on the top of the car with how much you jumped, dirk raises a brow, no doubt looking over you. You drive faster- above the speed limit - as rain starts pouring down.  
“slow down english its raining you’re gonna- ...Jake are you crying?”  
You felt the tears stinging at your eyes but you had been hoping that if you didnt say anything or look at him he wouldn’t notice. But yes. You were indeed crying. You quickly get to his house and stop the car. He without a word jumps out the car and you quickly shift in reverse and you’re about to speed out- desperate to get home but he comes around and swings open your door, letting the rain soak you.  
“D-dirk what are you-”  
He pulls you out the car and puts it in park, taking the keys and dragging you to the house.  
“Fuck if I’m letting you leave like this English. Not in the rain.”  
you’re about to protest but then a loud boom resonates through the sky along with a bright flash and god you’re clinging to him and burying your face in his chest and you can’t believe he’s seeing you like this. Only john and Jade had seen you cry from the storms. No one else. Especially not dirk strider..

Once inside, he gives you a number of blankets and towels to dry off and warm up, you sit on his couch quietly, taking the offering and smiling halfheartedly only to jerk a bit when a loud boom sounded outside.  
“Jake.. wanna tell me what that was about?”  
His voice brings you back to the present and you look away, mumbling that it’s nothing.

You can feel his eyes on you. You’re panicking a little.  
“D-Dirk i need to go ho-”  
“shut up. you’re staying here. I’ll sleep on the couch, you can sleep in my room. I dont care but you’re not driving home with it like this.” His voice was firm. You could tell there was no point in arguing with him. You sigh and look down.  
“P-Please.. I’ll sleep on the couch.. you dont need to-”  
He snickered. “You self righteous asshole- take the fucking bed.”  
You look at him, furrowing your brow. Why was he being so.. infuriatingly nice..?  
“Stay with me.”  
He looks over you, this time he’s the one looking back with his brows knit together in confusion.  
“Why wou-”  
“I dont want to be alone.. If you insist I sleep in your room I want you with me.”  
He stays quiet for a moment, you can practically see the gears turning in his head and he sighs, pulling you into his arms and grumbling. “C’mere you fuckin’ prick.”

 

~Dirk’s POV~ 

After a while jake dozed off in your arms and you carried him into your room. He nuzzled you and let you hold him. He was a hell of a lot sweeter in his sleep then he was when he was awake. So damn stubborn.. You can’t help but wonder what that was about.. I mean- Jake? Afraid of thunder and lightning? C’mon now. I mean- even if he was, crying? This is the guy who fucking killed a bear less than 24 hours ago.You sigh and close your eyes. Hes sleeping. You should be too. Its- what? 3 in the morning? You relax and take in the warmth of his body. You’ll find out eventually about what that was.. but until then, you smile from the warmth radiating from him, and the feeling of his body pressed against yours and the small smile that is on his face as your arms that are wrapped around him squeeze softly and you whisper.  
“goodnight jungle boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha- did you think i would get straight to the sexytimes that fast? Cmonnn~ I gotta tease y'all a lil bit!!
> 
> if anyone cares to know, this is the car jake has at the moment  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/fc/19/ec/fc19ec59343a5d000f8d970041007145.jpg
> 
> and dirk is more like- motorcycle, or the shitty ironic sports mom minivan. His bro is rich. He can have 3 things if he wants to.  
> ((actually the mom van is Bro's. Dirk has the sexy car. and dave cant drive. but he plans on getting the bike.


	15. pillowtalk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a bit more descriptive with dirk and some back story on jake and alot of sweetness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god that sexual tension tho. and im obsessed with this song

~Jakes POV~

You wake up feeling unbelievably hot. Like- 90 degree weather hot. You groggily attempt to sit up but something is wrapped around you, pinning you down. You struggle to turn around, but eventually pull through- coming face to face with a face so sweet you might have in fact contracted diabetes just from the sight. His guarded, sharp features that you were used to were dropped and replaced with a soft smile and gentle breathing. He.. he looked so beautiful in sleep.. His shades were gone and with his eyes closed you realized for the first time how long his eyelashes were. You also realized for the first time that his face was lightly dusted with freckles, and he wasn’t quite as pale as you had initially believed. He was actually quite sunkissed, his face having a slight tinge of gold to it.. It complemented his eyes quite well.. His bright amber eyes that- we now staring right up into yours. You refocus and panic sets in as his features ease into that smug look that you know so well.   
“Damn English, checkin’ me out in my sleep? Thats a whole new level for you.”  
You grit your teeth and try to move back, but his arms are still wrapped around you.

“U-Unhand me you ruffian!” You groan, wriggling to get free; but his grip is firm and he pulls you closer, pressing you against his chest. You’re stomach is doing somersaults, you can’t tell if you’re nervous or excited. He buries his face in your neck and you shiver a bit, you can feel his breath on your skin, giving you goosebumps.   
“Jake..” he mumbles, his lips just faintly brushing over you as he speaks.

You try to say something coherent but all that slips out is a whimper. Morning wood was usually a problem for you, but at this very moment it was more than just that. You know he can feel your.. erm.. excitement on his thigh, you can tell that he has the same problem as he presses further into you.   
“What was that last night..? With the storm..?”   
Your mind is reeling, you cant focus on what hes saying and what your feeling so you give in without even thinking about it, your mind a haze.

“M-my grandmother- she..”   
You snap back into what your saying in that moment and you’re overcome with sadness.   
Your grandmother.. she.. she died out there.. on the lake..   
You feel your body shake and you cling to dirk possessively. You can feel one of his hands slip away and you almost feel panic set in, thinking he’s going to pull away from you- but instead his hand rests on your cheek. He brushes his thumb over your skin and brushes away tears you didnt even realize had formed. You missed her. You missed her so much.. and your speaking. It takes you a moment to realize you’re spilling out all your thoughts to him. You’re telling him about how it happened- how she went out onto the lake in a boat to go fishing and a storm started going. How you ran through the woods from your house to try and get her and warn her- how you watched from the shore in the rain, as the waves tore the small boat before you apart, and you watched as a crack of lightning struck the mast, which she was holding- trying to lower the sails. How you saw her body writhe and fall into the water.. How you sat there, in the sand, sobbing in the rain for hours until the storm died down. How you stayed there until a little ways down the water’s edge you saw the body of a woman, elderly and barely recognizable with her now riger body. How you carried and buried her outside by a campfire.. You told him about how you had no family left and so you vowed to take care of yourself and played it off to the town like she was still alive until you were old enough to become emancipated. You were 12 when it all happened..

Dirk’s eyes widened, his eyes scanning your face, he brushed away tears and pulled you close, running his fingers through your hair and whispering softly,

‘its okay’

‘im here’

‘don’t cry English..’

You don’t know when, but eventually your sobs turn into small sniffles. He’s pressing kisses into your hair and the back of your neck, showing so much affection.. affection you haven’t felt since you were a child. But this is different, the small kisses lingered and his hands held you in a way that meant something...else. Whatever that may be. You melt into him, tilting your head up to look into his eyes. You don’t think you would ever be able to tire of looking into those eyes.. You look up and he moves to look down at you. Emotions are welling up and god you cant help it- you press a kiss to his lips. Unlike the last times you two had kissed, this was soft and sweet. His lips met yours halfway and you drape your arms around his neck. He smiles into your lips and you smile back. How long have you wanted this? Kisses that weren’t hate and lust filled. Sweet pecks and gentle touches. How long have you been repressing these feelings for him..? That girl with the blue hat was right. You two had something. Something that you couldn’t see until just now..

By jove you must be blind..

You wonder if he saw it.

If he already knew you were drawn to him and he was likewise. If he was denying it to himself like you had been. If he thought it was unrequited…

You hum softly along to a song that’s been haunting your mind, that suddenly comes back to you as you kiss him. You break the kiss to rest your head on his shoulder, singing the melody in your head.

_Come with me…_   
_My love,_   
_To the sea,_   
_The sea of love.._   
  
_I.. wanna tell you…_   
_How much.._   
_I love you…_   
  
_Do you remember.._   
_When we met.._   
_That's the day,_   
_I knew you were my pet.._   
  
_I… Wanna tell you…_   
_How much.._   
_I love you…_

__

You’re singing it in your mind and humming along, eyes closed.

_I… wanna tell you.._

_How much.._

 

“I love you..”

You freeze. He freezes. Who said it? You cant tell. You werent thinking. Just singing and- He sighs, squeezing you tight. hiding his face in your neck. He whispers softly, lips brushing against your tanned skin once more, you shiver and cling to him as you hear him say softly against you.

 **  
** “I love you too English..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh thank you guys so much!! I have over 550 reads!!! Over almost 50 kudos and 12 comments!! I love you guys so much!!!!!!!!!!! Also- Some news:
> 
> I uploaded part of my new story 'All the Stars In Texas' its got some smut and its actually pretty bad compared to this one but you guys should read it anyway and tell me what you think!!!  
> Alsoooo~
> 
> I'm part of a homestuck ask blog on tumblr!! 
> 
> herostucks.tumblr.com is the url and I'm Meulin!!! so you guys should follow us and send me some asks!!!! Ive never done anything like this before and i love it so much, its so much fun and again i love all of you so much!!!


	16. rest in peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a small update for now, work is busy today!! Ill add more to it once things die down but till then here is a lil bit
> 
> PS: when i wrote animal shelter the first time I accidentally typed anime shelter. (imagine that.)

~Jake’s POV~

The get together at john’s house was the mark of the first day of spring break. It was also the day before the start of you and dirk’s relationship. Since then, the only people to know about the two of you are those who attended said gathering, minus the girl in the blue hat and her friend, who you were unable to get a hold of. At the moment, the two of you were curled up in your house, on the couch. Dirk was playing some- no doubt shitty- game as you read the paper like the old fashion-y stand up gent you are. You’re lazily scanning over the articles, paying no mind at all until a specific one catches your eye. The headline reads:

**“Sburb Highschool Bloodshed. Two dead. Suspect missing.”**

You stare a moment at the headline and the your eyes slowly drift to the picture. The image though in black and white is still gruesome.. You feel a chill surge through you as you start to read the article. It states:

_“Sburb High School mourns the death of two students, Nepeta Leijon and Equius Zahhak. The two walking home one night when they were brutally murdered on the corner of Elm and Main. The elder- a senior in the high school- was choked to death with a cord of sorts while the younger- a freshman- was bludgeoned to death by an object unknown. The girl, who volunteered in many animal shelters throughout town, and  assisted her sister in her practice of marriage counseling; was a top student, and best friends with the elder victim, who was part of the wrestling team and robotics club. The suspect is believed to be a schizophrenic student named Gamzee Makara… “_

__

You zone out, remembering the small girl and her sweaty, muscle-y friend.

They died.. that night..

You feel grief tug at your heartstrings and nudge dirk, shoving him the newspaper. He gruts and reluctantly takes it- not really caring about the news until he reads the headline. He pauses his game.

“Gamzee… isn’t that the freaky stoner guy? Always wearing sweats and has makeup on his face?”

You nod, “They can’t find him anywhere..”

Dirk frowns and pulls you into his arms. You feel awful. She was to credit for your relationship after all.. in a way.  Dirk’s eyes scan over the paper again.  
“Their funeral is on friday..”  
“Could we go..? just to pay our respects?”

He nods and kisses your forehead, you smile a bit, feeling a bit more relieved, but you can overcome the feeling of dread that shrouds over you.


	17. Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other peoples pov over the death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry that I have been patchy with updating!! Ill try to update as much as i can because my last day of work is on wednesday, and once that happens internet access is going to be difficult until the 28th of august. So Here you are~!

~Dirk’s POV~ 

You go home from jake’s house feeling pretty damn shitty, knowing that two people you feel as though you had just seen, were gone. You didnt know the girl very well.. but you were pretty close to Equius at on point. You two had shared a health class junior year and bonded over your love of horses. You remember Roxy getting the both of you drunk.. How it had started with him with slurred words requesting you feel his muscles.. how it turned into you realizing that he actually was hung like as horse. How he felt.. How grossed out you were by all the sweat. Shit was like a slip and slide.   
You shudder and shake it off. That night made things awkward between you two and you hadn’t really talked since then. You wonder if john and dave know..

~John’s POV~

Dave is really torn up about this.. You hadn’t realized how close he had been to Nepeta. They had some unspoken cat/bro-ship you suppose. He won’t talk about it. Not with you, not with anyone. Well, actually he may have talked to Rose.. but she wouldn’t tell you anything- that would be ‘breaking patient confidentiality.” All you can do is stay with him, love him, and not ask too many questions.

~Dave’s POV~

She’s dead. Nepeta Leijon is dead. The whole credit of you and john’s relationship is just. gone.  
She gave you the best thing in your life. And a fucking druggie took hers. John is giving you space, which you appreciate. He’s there for you to kiss and cuddle but doesn’t push you for answers. Nepeta was one of the chillest girls you knew, besides jade and rose. She was always happy. The fact that she was gone was.. well- bullshit. It was fucking bullshit. And Equius… You shudder. If this fucking clown was strong enough to kill equius well.. that was scary. The pictures you saw from the paper were fucking gruesome.. Blood everywhere. Nepeta was beaten to the point that you couldn’t even tell it was her… And Equius.. his face was blue from lack of oxygen.. It made you want to cry. But you don’t.   
Striders never cry.  
Dirk and Bro call it Liquid pride or some shit if they cry from being happy. But never does a strider shed a damn tear for sad reasons   
Keep a blank face.  
Show nothing.   
It’ll go away eventually.   
This funeral is going to be one of the shittiest things ever.


	18. funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grieving time with the family of the deceased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SpitFire is the name i chose as Dave's rap name. I think i originally got it from a fanfic of dave as a stripper??? And i sorta liked it?? but course he isnt a stripper here (that we know of) but yeah
> 
> Nepeta's rap name is MC-AC bc her chumhandle name and bc MC well. is a rap thing. Idk what it means. I forget.
> 
> Anyway- this chapter is majorly shitty im sorry the quality stuff will be coming back soon
> 
> till then enjoy angsty dave
> 
> ((ps theres a fucking mlp reference in here. Bc Dirk and Bro are losers,

~Jakes POV~

 

In your life- never have you ever seen such sadness. You wore your best suit and arrived to the cemetery right on time. Nepeta and Equius both had very little family, it seems. Which may explain why they were so close to each other. Nepeta’s elder sister, Meulin was sobbing rather loudly. When she spoke it was as though she was unable to control her voice, the volume changing rather drastically throughout the eulogy. Gamzee’s brother attended the funeral to pay his respects, he was with Meulin the whole time.  
When Equius’ turn came, his brother spoke. It was quite strange, but somber all the same. 

You sit quietly through it all, until everything was done. People file out and you follow dirk back to the car, watching dave as he lingers behind to talk to Meulin.

~Dave’s POV~

Fucking hell.  
This is bullshit.  
Such bullshit.  
Nepeta was supposed to be your wing girl. With those fucking cat puns.  
She was your “meowtherfucking” homie.  
You wait behind to talk to her sister- her sister who is dating a murderer’s brother.  
She’s bombarded with other people giving their condolences but you wait patiently. Its worth it.  
“H-Hello dave.” She says rather loudly. You dont cringe. Shes deaf. She has no volume control. Its all good.  
“Hey. Im sorry about your sis.”  
She sniffles and nods. “Thanks.. she really liked mew..”  
The fucking cat puns. You almost cringe. Besides the volume things their voices sounded basically the same. It hurt.  
“Yeah uh. Listen. I know your deaf and shit. But here. oh and uh- here.”  
You pull out a mix tape with ‘SpitFire feat. MC-AC’ scrawled onto it along with a little booklet.  
“we were working on a mixtape and well. This is it. You should have it. And these are all the lyrics. Since you can’t listen really.”  
Through your shades you can see her eyes widen as she takes it. The disk had little hearts and cats drawn on it in an olive green, obviously Meulin’s idea. Her eyes water and she sobs, leaning forward and clinging you.  
“THANK MEW SO MUCH DAVE THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER ITS PURRFECT.”  
You grit your teeth. she got louder. And she’s right by your ear. But you dont focus on that. You focus on patting her back and not letting your eyes tear up.  
Striders don’t cry.  
Never fucking cry.  
She lets go after a bit, sniffling and you nod. Saying your goodbyes and going back to meet john in the car.  
You dont know what this is.  
rolling down your face.  
Its not raining, but theres sure as hell liquid.  
This isn’t pride though.  
It isn’t really sad either though.  
Its anger.  
Youre fucking angry.  
And you’re going to have to do something fast to let it out.  
Or shits gonna go to hell.


	19. Whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where John is pissed.   
> Dirk is pissed.  
> And Dave is fucking stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry (eh- sorta.)   
> Trigger warning, Drinking, almost death,  
> alot of cursing and crying. Im sorry

~John’s POV~

It’s been a few weeks since the funeral, and dave is still acting weird. You dont want to push him on the subject but now he refuses to come over. He’s avoiding you. You miss him.. He stays home and doesn’t text you and you understand that he’s grieving the loss of a friend but you feel like you’re losing him too.You’re sitting in your room, going through your big book of pranks absentmindedly when you hear your pesterchum go off. You glance over at your bill cosby laptop.   
Geez.. I should get a new one.. Bill Cosby is.. sorta awful aparently.. with the news and everything..  
But you roll lazily off your bed, flipping open the screen- mentally praying its your “super cool”  
and “ironic,” strider boyfriend.   
But its not.  
It is a super cool guy.  
A Strider boyfriend.  
But not yours.

 

\--timaeusTestified started pestering ectoBiologist at 14:27--

TT: John.  
TT: Answer me.  
TT: I need you over here asa fucking p.  
TT: Dave fucked up again.

 

You stare at the screen a moment, trying to take in what he’s saying, then snap into it- typing as fast as you can.  
EB: what do you mean?? what happened??  
TT: Finally.That took forever.  
TT: So slow Egbert. Snails got nothing on you.  
EB: dirk!  
TT: Right.  
TT: He got drunk.  
TT: Little shit got carried away with it.  
TT: I’m bringing him to the hospital.   
TT: I’m headed over now.  
TT: You should come.  
EB: oh my god…  
EB: im on my way   
EB: er.. actually my dad is away..  
TT: I’ll pick you up.  
EB: Thank you..

~Dirk’s POV~

I swear to god. Once that prick gets out the hospital you’re going to put him back in it. You’re going to beat him to a damn pulp. He hadn’t left his room for days. You figured he was still fucked up over his friend, you didn’t guess he would actually be fucked up because of it. But you went in to borrow a track for your turntables, and he wasn’t there. You called him- no answer- but lucky as hell for you, his ringtone sounded from not too far away. You follow the sound and what do you find?   
This asshole.  
On the fucking pavement.  
He tried to crawl out to the fire escape and fell.  
From the top.  
Motherfucking.  
Floor. 

And now here you are- hauling his ass to the hospital. He’s bloody and smells like shit.  
And Egbert is probably freaking out.   
You use your shades to pester him and then turn quickly to get to his house. It’ll be better with him there anyway, while you drive he can take care of dave in the back. 

You pull up to his place and he slides in the back, gasping when he sees dave.   
You listen intently as you focus on the road to everything  
“dave..”  
“Why.. why didnt you call me..?”  
“Y-You asshole- i was worried sick!”  
You cringe, his voice behind you is wracked with anger and pain and hes choking on his words to try not to cry. You can picture his face in your head.  
“And now look at you! What were you thinking dave?? What were you thinking?? Were you going to just- leave me? Without a word? I get that she was a friend of yours but-”  
He breaks and sobs.  
His voice is loud and raspy and filled with anger that- holy shit this was john. John being this mad? It was actually scary.  
“I love you, you prick- you can’t do that! I’ll never forgive you if you die!”

“john relax, let him go.”   
You look in the rear view mirror to see john is shaking dave by the collar of his shirt and his pale skin is read to match his bloodshot eyes that are usually so blue. He looks away and lets dave go, who falls limp into the seat as you pull into the ER. John says nothing for the rest of the night.


	20. Post op

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave wakes up.  
> Johns still pissed.  
> Dirk totally understands.
> 
> this is a small little update- until tomorrow~!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dont worry- things'll get better i promise.   
> Until then- over 700 reads~!!!  
> Almost 60 kudos!! I love you guys!!!! Also a super awesome cute person drew some fanart for me!  
> ONce i figure out how to link it here I will do so right away!!! Just take my word for it when I say its super good!  
> (better than I could do!))

~Dirk’s POV~

It’s two hours later when Rose and Roxy arrive at the hospital, all the while John hasn’t said a word. The doctors are going to fix him up. Do whatever it takes.   
It’s two more hours when they say that he’s out of surgery and you all can see him.  
John says nothing.  
When you go in, You and Rose are quiet, looking over him, roxy is crying.  
John stays out of the way, refusing to even look at him.   
Dave is unconscious and stays like this until late at night, when he finally wakes up.  
By then the girls are gone and it’s just the three of you.

“Oh what the fuck..” he grumbles, his eyes slowly opening. You move from your seat right away to go over to his bedside. John’s eyes flick up, ,meet yours, and quickly move away.   
“dave- you good?”  
He groans, “I will be once I know what the fuck happened.”  
Of course. If figures he doesn’t remember. He was shitfaced.   
“You were drunk off your ass and fell 6 stories.” John spits out from his side of the room.  
Bitter.  
Thats the word you would use to describe it.   
Anyone else would have missed it, but dave visibly tenses up at the sound of john’s voice. He must not have realized he was there. Without his shades on, you can read dave like a book. His eyes dart over to john who is sitting sideways in his chair, glaring right at him.   
“John..”  
“glad to see you remember me. Seems like you had forgotten for a few weeks.”  
Weeks?  
Had dave not talked to john at all?  
That was fucked up..  
You knew he wasn’t leaving his room or going over to egbert’s house but- you figured they were still in contact.  
Now it made sense, why John was so angry. He must have been so worried..  
“Im.. I’ll be outside..” you mumble, standing and then quickly slipping out the room.   
Best give them some time.


	21. Were doing it daev, where making this hapen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoop whoop!! New person's POV!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

~Jake’s POV~

It’s been a few weeks since the accident and Dave is coming home from the hospital today. You, Roxy, Jade and Jane got together at his apartment, setting up a bit of a welcome home party. You and Jade are hanging up a banner with Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff on it, with letters spelling ‘WhaleCum home daev’ in the room as Jane bakes Dave’s favorite, apple crumb cupcakes, and a batch of red velvet as well in the kitchen. Roxy is doing what she does best- mixing drinks. Non- Alcoholic since alcohol is what got dave into this mess. Dirk and Bro are picking Dave up from the hospital- Rose is knitting furiously with kanaya, trying to make dave an ironic arm sling that would suit him. Even D is there, the second oldest Strider; who flew all the way from LA for this. Everything is going just fantastically. John is practically bouncing with excitement. He grins down at his phone.   
“Text from bro!! They’re on their way up!! Everyone hide!”  
The lights go off and everyone goes into their respective spots. Everything goes quiet.   
You can hear their footsteps along with a rolling of a wheelchair. The door unlocks, slowly swings open…  
Dave stops in the doorway in his tracks.   
“Something’s off… Bro I swear to god if you drop any smuppets on me i’ll-”  
“Surprise!!!!”

The lights flick on and everyone jumps out, cheering. Dave tries not to show it- but we caught him off guard. John hugs him loosely and kisses his cheek, he smirks and quickly kisses john’s neck in return. He see’s D and gives him a small head nod, which D returns. Bro lowers his shades and winks at him with a small smirk. God you hope its in an ironic sense.. They’re brothers! D rolls his eyes behind his shades and flips him off. That would have relaxed you a bit if not for the fact that his cheeks flushed a bit. Maybe.. that was ironic too.. yeah.. Dirk circles around and wraps an arm around your waist. You sigh and kiss his cheek. Jane is looking away, her face red. You wonder what that’s about.. and roxy is suggestively waggling her eyebrows. You roll your eyes and just enjoy the party.

~Jane’s POV~

Jake and Dirk have been dating for a while now.. and- they look happy. They’re across the room from you and dirk slips an arm around him, and he kisses dirks cheek in response. He’s happy.   
You should be happy.  
Why are you so unhappy?  
Dirk treated Jake like total trash for years! Heck- They hated each other! How could they be so.. in love? You aren’t jealous. You can't be jealous. You just- regret being so slow. You’ve had a crush on him for years. But you never had the guts to say anything. And of course Jake had no idea, why would he just wait?   
Oh- thats right-  
he wouldn't.  
He didnt.   
And he has every right to!!   
You’re just selfish i guess. It’s okay though, You would never do anything to break them up. You would never act on how much you like him. You just need to play it cool. So you look away. The floor is so cool! look at that! lets just stare at it for a while.. yeah… You see from the corner of your eye that jake is moving somewhere else, you glance up, relaxing for a moment before you tense.  
dirk..  
He’s looking right at you..  
And he doesn’t look happy…

You look away again.Shoot.. he doesn’t know does he? He probably does.. Oh no..  
You stare at the floor and then feel an arm wrap around your shoulder.  
Jake..  
“Hello there Jane, my good friend! Enjoying the gathering?”  
You smile softly up at him- hoping he doesn't notice the blush spreading across your face, and nod.   
“Shucks, Buster! Way to sneak up on a lady!! Of course I am!”  
He grins, his cute buck teeth that suited him so well and matched with yours.   
“Good! And it best stay that way! Otherwise I’ll have something to say on the matter!”  
You giggle and roll your eyes, smiling up at him.   
“You’re such a goof Jake,”   
He just winks and smiles even more- making your heart flutter, “And don’t I know it?”

You laugh and sneak a glance over to where dirk was standing. Hes gone.  
You let out a sigh of relief and stay with Jake and Roxy for the night.


	22. (pb and a whole lot of) Jelly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirks stupid and jealous.  
> Jakes stupid and hot.  
> Bro and D are stupid and weird. O_O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hon hon hon
> 
> This took forever. And Dirk and Jake are horny and horrified.
> 
> ... Hornified.

~Dirk’s POV~

You always sort of knew. Jane would always get flustered when Jake was around and you couldn’t have cared less- until you started dating him. Now every time you guys did anything- if she was there her face would get red and she would look away. And he was noticing. She’s a friend. She wouldn’t try anything. But you know Jake better than you care to admit- and you know that if he realizes she likes him, and on what degree; he would feel guilty. And a big possibility as a result would be him breaking up with you to give her a chance. And you know that if you two broke up- the possibility of you two getting back together was little to nonexistent. And Sure- maybe you’re being selfish. Actually- fuck yeah. You’re being really selfish. But you like him. More than you care to admit. He’s a dork. He quotes lara croft word for work and cheers her on as the movie plays, as if he hasn’t seen it a million times. He has a hard on for Avatar like you wouldn’t believe and cries every time. Hell- when hes taking the stairs to the apartment he takes them two at a time as if it makes difference. And heading down he slides on the railing and jumps down the last five steps as if he doesn’t look like a dumbass. You love it. You love him.  
To anyone else but him you wouldn’t admit it.  
But to him- he knows. You’ve said it a few times. He says it constantly. He’s a nerd like that.   
You dont want to lose him. 

Bro and D went out, and Dave is in his room with John. D and Bro act overly weird around each other usually, so your used to it. Bro acts like a perv. D is suddenly some type of tsundere around him. I dont know. Shit’s weird. Everyone else left except for Jake and you two are at the moment, curled up on the couch, your arm around him and his head nestled into you.   
You were happy.   
You should stay quiet.  
Dont say anything.  
But you’re also a fucking idiot and this is bothering you more than it should.  
“Hey Jake.”  
He shifts and glances up at you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “Mm.. yes love?”  
shut your mouth dirk. Dont fucking do it.  
“Stay away from Jane for a while.. alright?”  
He furrows his brow and sits up straight, eyes scanning your face.  
“Why, whatever for?”

fuck.  
“Just.. trust me. Alright?”  
He looked so confused and turned more towards you.   
“Dirk, why should i? Tell me, She’s a very good friend of mine and i dont take too kindly to ignoring h-”  
“Jake. Listen just, take my word alright. I have my reasons.”  
He looked annoyed, “Which are?? Im not going to ignore my friend on a whim dirk!”  
“Jake- can you please just calm your shit-”  
He grit his teeth and huffed, turning away. “This is so stupid! Im not going to avoid her dirk,”  
“Jake she fucking likes you! Okay? There!.” you practically shout.  
Well. You just did the opposite of what you wanted Dirk. Happy?   
Jake freezes, staring at you.   
“She.. likes me..? Like- .. like you like me..?”  
You look away and nod, your lips in a tight line. You hear a small noise and look out the corner of your eye. Jake is.. smiling? No- Chuckling. He leans in trying to sneak a peak at your face.  
“Dirk~ Are you jealous~?”  
“fuck no.” you turn away more, you can feel your face getting hot and you’re lying to yourself because like hell if you weren’t jealous. It was practically eating away at you.  
“Diiiirkkk~” He teased, leaning in closer. “Let me see your face~”  
As if on command- your face goes red. You refuse to let him see.  
“Diiirk~”  
“No.”  
“Diiiiiirrrkkk”  
“Fuck you English.”  
Suddenly, with no warning, he’s tackling you to the ground, attempting to pin you down.   
You struggle against him, shaking your head to not let him see how embarrassed you are.  
This is so not cool.  
He eventually succeeds in pinning you and he’s grinning down at you.  
“How cute,” he muses. He’s straddling you and at this point you’re blushing now for other reasons.   
His body it hot against yours and the fact that he had both your wrists pinned above your head with only one had was actually a major turn on for you.   
His free hand held your chin to keep you facing him, letting go for only a moment to take your shades off of you.   
“Dirk. How many times have I told you I love you?”  
You think a moment. You didn’t ever count. you see your shades flicker beside your head. No doubt AR has calculated the number up for you. If only you had them on.  
“Better question- how many times have I told Jane I loved her?”  
You sigh.   
“None.”  
“Thats right! and I don’t plan on that changing for quite a while, might I add.”  
You nod, feeling stupid as hell. You were being paranoid.   
“Good. Now that that’s settled.” He leaned down and kissed you, his lips soft against yours. And you- you kissed back eagerly- overly aware of his thighs squeezed tight around your waist. He seemed a bit surprised with how much fervor you kissed him with- but he gladly returned the favor, His free hand running over your chest. You feel him grind down against you and you groan into his lips, your hands tugging a bit on his hold, eager to pull him closer- tangle your fingers in his hair- touch him. But he holds you steady, which seems to spur you on further.You rut up into him and he meets you half way, grinding back down and honestly you’re never jerking off again. This feels amazing and the both of you haven’t even taken anything off.   
If you could do something to change that you would, but he holds you down well.   
damn..   
He’s stronger than you thought. You’re more than happy staying as you are-   
pressed beneath your boyfriend with his super shorts, making out and sorta basically dry humping. It was weird.  
But sorta great.   
And if you could have it your way you would have stayed like this.  
Except you couldn’t.  
Because suddenly the door flung open and Bro and D were tangled in each other's arms. Jake squeaked and fell off of you and the both of you stared as D straddled Bro, who was carrying the younger in his arm, and their lips were smashed together in the sloppiest makeouts you have ever witnessed. Bro easily kicks the door closed and sets D down on the kitchen counter, his hands moving quickly to undo D’s belt as he let out soft whines, begging for him to go faster. You’re shocked. And Jake?  
Jake is sitting beside you wide eyed and gaping. His mouth slack with surprise. You would have teased him if you weren’t the same. You couldn’t tear your eyes away, as Bro whipped out his (you have to admit, pretty impressively huge) dick, a Jacobs ladder on the underside, along with a bottle of lube. You stared as he slicked himself and pressed into D’s ass. You bite your lip as you hear your older brother’s moans. Finally you turn away- to look at jake. He’s covering his lap awkwardly. You realize you are too. You’re horrified and slightly turned on- horrified because your brothers are fucking on the counter which you fucking eat from- but turned on because you wish it was you and Jake. You want jake to lift you up and slam his hips into you. You want to be the one practically screaming in pleasure. You want him to control you. You take Jake’s and and mumble,  
“lets get out of here.. go back to your place..?”  
He quickly nods and you sneak out- D’s eyes are screwed shut and Bro is too caught up in D’s ass to notice.


	23. hnnnngggg..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake has needs.  
> and also has trouble saying the words "dick, cock, peener," or anything like that.  
> remember- boy gotta stay classy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so updating to day is going to be difficult. this is all i can do for today- I was originally going to finally do the dirkjake smuts but i couldnt bc my boss is all over me today at work since its my last day. And after today i probably wont be able to update until August 28th when I finally move out. So Until then!!

~Jake’s POV~ 

 

You knew it!! Bro and D were acting strange all day!! You’re driving back to your house, the image of Bro pounding into his younger brother in burned into your mind. You try not to think about it but you were unbelievably turned on. You never quite admit it- but Dirk and Bro look exactly alike, minus the clothes, hat, and facial hair. And seeing him, doing that only made you fantasize what dirk would be like.You cant quite decide on if you would prefer to be the one he was in or if you would prefer to be the one making him moan out so loud he would be hoarse the next morning…  
But you’re quite sure it’s the latter.  
And speaking of ladders…  
Bro’s girth was pierced! You were practically swooning when you saw-  
Did dirk have them too? You wouldn’t exactly be surprised.  
You sort of hope he does. When you were with him on the living room floor- arms pinned above his head you were in control. And you wanted him more than you care to admit, and the look dirk was giving you with his half lidded eyes told you he wanted you too. So you were speeding back to your house, praying that you two could pick up where you had left off. You park by the lake and take dirks hand, leading him as quickly through the woods as you can to get into your house. He’s following clumsily.  
“Jake what the f-“  
You shush him and open your door, tugging him inside only to slam his against said door which was now shut- kissing him with all the force you can muster because you need him.  
He returns the kiss, slightly bemused. Hes chuckling. Against your lips. Goddammit doesn’t he know you need this?? You glare up at him and practically growl,  
“What?”  
He cracks a smiled and motions behind you; on your couch is Jade- sitting wide eyed and gaping; much like you and dirk had been when Bro and D burst in. Her face is flushed bright pink and god she must be horrified. She finally tears her eyes away and mumbles.  
"I- I should go home I guess... I- Im sorry.. I was wondering if i could spend the night.."  
And it breaks your heart.  
"J-Jade, Im sorry I- I didnt know you were here! O-Of course you can!"  
You're a studdering mess, and dirk is laughing behind you. I suppose nothing will happen tonight then- not with Jade here. So you three spend the night playing games and talking until jade dozes off- trying to totally forget the fool you made of yourself.


	24. NSFW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> blow jays are my fave bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY I TOOK FOREVER. MOVING INTO COLLEGE AND STUFF WAS STRESSFULL AND PLS FORGIVE ME OMG

~Dirks POV~

 

A week passed and school is back in session, the whispers and looks you get when youre walking down the hall with jake make you sort of proud in a sense. The fact that you have someone. That they look at you two with something that you like to think of as envy- spurs you on. You love holding his hand and kissing him between classes, though others might not peg you as that type, youre pretty damn lovable. Maybe you’re an exhibitionist but you like showing off your relationship, making jake blush with texts during class, all that. You love him. You really do, and you can’t even believe that not so long ago the two of you hated each other.

 

The day to present the project comes and Ms. Pixes loves it. You two get an A+ for all your fish puns and she even calls in another teacher to take a look- though he spends most of the time hitting on her instead of listening, or fixing his slicked back greaser hair. You didnt mind it though, it was water under the bridge as far as you were concerned, the project was done and everything was cool. When class was dismissed and it was lunch time you take jakes hand.  
“Hey, wanna skip for the day?”

He looks up at you shocked. Of course. He was a ‘good boy’ wasnt he.

“Strider!” He whispered so no one heard. “We cant do that! We’ll get in trouble!”

You know exactly what to say to get him to give in.  
“Cmon english~” You purr, kissing his neck- your lips brushing over his skin with each word and your breath teasing at him. “It’ll be our little adventure~”

He shivers and melts into you.  
Got em.

“F-Fine.. back to your place?”

You nod and nip his skin softly, running your tongue over the mark to sooth him and then leading him away, ignoring the stares from other students.

~Jake’s POV~

 

Ever since school has started dirk has been more affectionate towards you. You dont mind it much, you’ve always been fond of affection; but the stares you two get makes you antsy. Then he convinced you to skip school. And as you ran into the parkinglot to his car, slipping in; you couldnt help but feel excited. this was it. No one was home. Everyone was at school or work. This time you were going to finish what was started a week ago. Before Jade scared the goobers out of you. You slip into the car, buckle up and let dirk shift the car into gear, pulling out of the lot and driving back to his place.About halfway in you decide to take a little risk and slide your hand over his thigh. He tenses a bit and parts his legs, welcoming your touch. His eyes are glued to the road as far as you can tell, but his shades hide everything so its not so easy for you to tell. Your thumb rubs circles through his jeans, your hand moving up closer to his- er. length. You brush over the hardness that has formed and you could hear him take in a sharp breath, stepping on the gas and driving faster down the road. You got back to his house in record time and he drags you through the door, pushing you down onto the couch.

 

~Dirk’s POV~

 

You push jake back onto the couch and he grabs you by the collar of your shirt, tugging you down with him and forcing your lips together. You sigh happily into the kiss and straddle his hips, He grinds up against you and you meet him halfway, letting out a low moan as he groans into your lips. You pin him down with his hands above his head and smirk down at him, grinding slowly and peppering kisses over his neck. You were in charge. And if you had your way you were going to fuck him into oblivi-

He shifted his weight beneath you and threw you off balance, causing you to fall off the couch to the floor. He moved quickly to pin you down, his stupid goofy face looking down at you smugly.  
“You alright mate?”

You stare up at him shocked for a moment. Then find yourself glaring a bit. He has your wrists pinned up by your head. And you’ll be damned if you’re gonna let him top.You peck his lips and strain, breaking his hold on you and sitting up to push him off and then attempt to get on top again. He pushes back with all his strength, your lips pressed forcefully against his. His lips pressing back just as strongly in a battle of dominance. You knew he was stubborn. You know he’s not going to let you top.. this time at least. But like hell your going to let him take it without a fight. He smiles into the kiss and you give up for now. Laying back and letting him pepper you with kisses. You smile and kiss his neck, letting out sweet moans when he grinds down until you can’t deal anymore.   
“J-jake. Not the floor god please.” You gasp out.   
He sits up and slides off your lap, offering a hand to help you up. You take it and stand, lightheaded and god you have a boner like you wouldn’t believe.  
And him.. god it looks huge. How does he fit that in those damn shorts?

He’s blushing and laces his fingers through yours, leading you quickly to your room. You follow excitedly, completely relaxed. You dont care that he’s about to quite possibly tear you in half or something because god you love him. And he’s the dorkiest person you have ever met besides john egbert himself. He wouldn’t hurt you. Hell, you’re surprised that he wants to top at all. You pegged him as a bottom all this time. It makes you wonder if john is the same…

 

You sit back onto the bed and he crawls over you. Your lips meld together and his hands are trailing up your body, snaking up your shirt. He breaks the kiss for a moment and he tugs your shirt over your head along with your shades- and you couldn’t care less. You pluck his glasses off and place them to the side, then with some help getting his shirt off. You run your hands over his chest, admiring him. His smooth tan skin and you’re suddenly aware of how pale you are in comparison. To be fair you don’t really leave your room.. but damn. Jake hums softly, loving your touch and trails his fingers down your torso, tracing the ‘v’ that lead into your jeans. His fingers deftly undo the button, leading the denim down off your hips along with your black and orange boxers. You bite your lip and look away. You have no reason to be embarrassed. I mean, yeah he’s getting an eyeful of your dick. so yeah. okay maybe you have every damn right to be embarrassed. He trailed his fingers down your length, then taking hold of the base and bringing his lips to your tip; pressing a soft kiss on top. You close your eyes in anticipation as he flicks his tongue over you. God. Hes going to drive you insane at this rate. You glance down at him and at hes giving you the most intensely sexy look ever. His eyes half lidded, glancing up at you as he takes you in his mouth.   
“Fuck..” you breath out, feeling his warm wet lips wrap around your dick. He hasnt even done anything and you’re already in heaven. He hums softly around you and bobs his head slowly.  
Too slowly.  
He’s looking at you like he wants you to beg, as if you would do that. He flicks his tongue over your slit teasingly and presses small kisses over you. You clench your jaw and you can feel your dick throbbing and holy shit why is he doing this to you.

“Jake i swear to god if you don’t just get on with it i will get up and just leave.”

He had your head in his mouth when he glanced up at you and raised a brow, pulling off slowly, a small thin string connecting his lips to you.  
“Why so impatient love? relax~”

He stroked his hand over you with that last word and then began to pump your length at a quick pace, then letting his lips take over. He sucked you off like a god. Holy shit. You would think his huge ass teeth would be a problem but he was expert with it, deepthroating you easily and not even gagging once. You allow yourself to let out breathy gasps and soft groans of pleasure, trying not to buck up in his mouth until you feel as though you can’t take anymore.

“Jake.”

“Mm.”

_“Jake.”_

“Mm?”

“Jake im gonna fucking-”

And before you could even finish your sentence he did something that you can’t even comprehend right now with his tongue and you couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped your lips as you came. You totally caught him off guard because he got a mouth load and the rest…  
He pulled away in shock and his face was now covered in your spunk.  
His eyes were closed tight and his nose was scrunched up and being the classy fucker you are- you laughed, You laughed right in his face and you honestly shouldnt have because he just sucked your fucking dick man like c’mon. Have some class. But no. You screwed it up, and you blew your load in his face, and you didn't even go all the way. He glared down at you and growled out something about washing his face before he got up and went into the bathroom- locking the door behind him, and god dammit dirk you done goofed.


	25. whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry i havent updated very often! Im still very busy with things here so updating is difficult- im getting there though!! Its seriously been forever and I feel so bad about it >

~Dirk's POV~

Jake didn't talk to you for about a week after that, what with you cumming in his face and all that crap.  
Which is understandable.  
Jake talked to John about it- who of course told Dave who laughed in your fucking face.  
"Awh, look at that. Baby's first blowjob," he sniffled and wiped away a fake tear; "They grow up so fast."  
You chose to just roll your eyes, you would fight him on the roof later. Until then you've been staying in your room most of the time that you aren't in school,

It wasn't until one day in school that he finally texted you.

~Jake's POV~

 

You’ve been avoiding dirk a bit- … okay a lot. You’re embarrassed is all! You wouldn’t have minded all that much if he hadn’t laughed.. But of course- he did. and you’re stuck with the image of his.. um.. fluids.. all on your face. Though… It was sort of rather erotic.. the way he moaned out your name.. and.. The face he made as you took him into your mouth.. and..  
“Jacob English?”  
You snap out of your thoughts and fumble in your desk, “Huh- wha- Yes?”  
Mr. Vantas looks at you with an eyebrow raised. “If you would be paying more attention Jacob you would have realized I was just taking attendance. I find your lack of respect and attention to be rather rude and I would appreciate if next time you would take care to perhaps listen to what I am saying before you go off and-.”  
You nod nervously and look away blocking him out, thank god it wasn’t to answer a question… Because the raging boner in your shorts was not so easily hideable in these shorts.. You bit your lip and after much internal debate, you texted Dirk.

\-- golgothasTerror Started Pestering timaeusTestified --

GT: Meet me in the bathroom if you would.

\-- golgothasTerror Ceased Pestering timaeusTestified --

~Dirk's POV~

You stared at the screen a moment, your phone hidden out of view from your teacher. Was something wrong? Was he going to break up with you? Fuck.. He's gonna break up with you... You sighed- dread filling you as you made your way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the door nervously before heading inside.


	26. their first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welp. More smut. Sorry guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im getting into it again- so sorry its been way too long. With college and stuff ive been struggling- also writing smut with these two- i couldnt decide who i wanted to top ^^; Its been a long time- and i forgotall about this. but i promised I wouldn't give up and its happening, more updates. I feel so guilty >

**This whole chapter is NSFW**

~Dirk's POV~

"Jake..?"

You call out into the bathroom, looking around. The bathroom seemed empty. Maybe he changed his mind or some-  
You dont know where he came from, from behind the stall or some shit but he's kissing you- pinning you against the door and who the hell are you to say that maybe you really did like him being in control. Maybe you like how practically wild he was, kissing your jawline and trailing down your neck, completely and utterly covering you with one hickie after another with those teeth of his that they seemed to come together to form one large dark shading on your pale skin. You cling to him and gasp, tilting your head for him- shuddering when you feel his hands ghost up over your hips towards your stomach, slipping under your shirt. You somehow manage to bring your hands down to the front of his shorts, palming at his cock through the fabric. He groans in pleasure and it sends a wave of arousal though you going straight to your aching cock. 

"Fuck Jake-" his lips cut you off and he mumbles lowly, looking into your half lidded eyes.

"Do you think you'll manage to stay quiet Strider? Or shall we just wait?" Fuck- you were lightheaded. Was he asking you if you wanted to go all the way? Right now? At school? Huh. Not that you minded, the idea of you two going at it- the risk of getting caught- it was kind of a turn on for you.

You give him a nod but as much as you liked him being in control for that moment there was no way you were letting him fuck you. You move quickly, and to his surprise you were now pinning him to the wall. He smirked and looked over you. If this was a battle of dominance there was no way in hell you were losing. And in all honesty Jake looked too turned on to care. So you grab his ass and hoist him up, his legs wrapping around your waist and pressing his hard on against you. Your hands slip down his shorts enough that if something were to happen he could quickly pull them up. You kiss him roughly, sucking on his tongue, biting his lip, taking your dick out from your jeans and pulling away just barely to ask if he has lube only to have him press a small bottle to your chest and needily pull you back to his lips. You were ready to fuck him- you didn't want to wait a second longer- but the internet is a fucked up place and I guess you were a fucked up person because you had seen a million terrible porn videos that might as well been horror movies that had to do with anal and not going about it the right way. Last thing you needed was to hurt him, and have blood all over the bathroom. So you slicked up your fingers and prodded lightly at his entrance; teasing him a bit and mumbling against his lips. ,

"Ready?" 

He gave a small nod and sucked in a sharp breath as you pressed in your index finger, his brow furrowed as though he was confused. You watched his face intently, studying his expression as you moved slow; careful not to go too fast. 

"Tell me whe-" 

"Mm- More." You raised a brow and sped up a bit. He bit his lip and hummed nodding and mumbling softly, 'more.'  
You slip in a second finger and slow down a bit again until he urges you further, biting his lip and panting. You curl your fingers lightly inside him and his back arches and he presses his head against the wall letting out a small whine. And you'll be damned if that wasn't just the hottest thing you had ever seen. You speed up, he bows his head into your shoulder and tries not to be loud but damn- if hes struggling now, when you actually get to it he's going to lose his mind. You hope so anyway. Finger number three soon makes its way down and gasping into your ear, panting and gasping- begging- for you to fuck him.  
Figure you might as well.  
You pull out your fingers and deftly balance him as you slick your cock with lube and position yourself. 

"Ready Engli-" 

"Strider if you don't stick me here and now I swear to Jesus H. Christ I will lose my mind and never forgive you sir." 

"Pfft." 

You roll your eyes and slowly press into him-- his blunt nails dig into your lower back as he bites into yours shoulder. Goddamn is he tight. And warm. And-

"Fuck strider /move./" 

You lost track of how long you were there just balls deep- smooth. You move your hips and he hisses,"You shouldn't waste time l- ooh~ We could get cau- a-ah~!"

You started moving, pulling out only to press back in- rinse, and repeat. You thought he was digging into your back before; now that he was moving you were positive he was going to draw blood. But damn if it didnt feel good. You could feel him squeezing around you. He moaned pretty fucking loudly so you kissed him hard, muffling his sounds as you quickened the pace, pounding into him now, the sounds of his muffled moans, your grunts, and skin slapping skin filling the room. You honestly weren't sure how much longer you were going to last. You hadn't had the time to jack it for a while so you were pretty close as it were, Jake- who was eagerly bouncing on your cock- gasped and tilted his head back.

"D-irk I- fuh- Im going t-," He didn't even get to finish before he came, staining your shirt as he tightened around you making you cum at the same time. You filled him and slowed his thrusts to a stop.

You and Jake were panting heavily, he looked at you with half lidded eyes, a lazy goofy smile on his lips as he kissed you sloppily, you smiled a bit and sighed, pulling out of jake and lowering him to the floor, "You okay?"

Jake nodded and kissed him sweetly, tugging up his shorts up and sighing, cupping your cheek. "I love you Strider. Dont be late for your next class, and you may want to uh- " He paused, taking his green second shirt off, handing it to you. "Cover up the shirt."

You glanced down and saw the cum on your shirt and sighed, watching jake as he walked out with a wink, thinking to yourself 'what the fuck just happened?'


End file.
